The Truth About Kats and Hogs

"The Truth About Kats and Hogs" is an episode from The Lion King's Timon & Pumbaa.

Synopsis
An Animal Behavioral Scientist, Jean Farrel, is watching Pumbaa (whom she calls Melvin) although he doesn't like it very much. Soon she shows Pumbaa some bugs, and he doesn't care anymore. Timon (Billy Bob) has now caught Jean's attention. She cannot decide which animal to study, the meerkat or the warthog. Timon and Pumbaa try to make her decide with every talent they have, which makes her go crazy. She's so crazy that some male Naturalists think she's a Wild Woman of the Jungle and take her away.

Plot
At the start of the episode, Pumbaa is about to get some bugs, but then runs into a woman, who is an Animal Behavioral Scientist named Jean Farrel. The warthog runs to Timon to tell him that there's something out there.

Timon and Pumbaa go to Jean, who watches Pumbaa and calls him Melvin. She watches Timon, saying that he's annoying and throws him out of the way. She gives Pumbaa a bag of bugs and Pumbaa is not afraid of her anymore.

Jean is now talking about Timon, who she names Billy Bob, and gives him the bag of bugs. She later can't decide which animal to study, the meerkat or the warthog, so she gives up and is about to leave the jungle.

Timon and Pumbaa help Jean decide which animal to study by showing her the tricks they can do. Jean tries to get rid of the two, but she decides to study both of them as she goes crazy. Two male Naturalists see Jean acting crazy and they catch her, thinking she's a Wild Woman of the Jungle.

Quotes
(Pumbaa sees Jean and gets scared) Pumbaa: AHH! TIMOOOOON!!! (Timon is asleep under a tree, but wakes up as Pumbaa screams. Pumbaa lands on Timon and birds fly out of a tree) Timon: Good morning, Pumbaa. Pumbaa: Timon, there's something out there. Timon: Might be news to you, Pumbaa ol' buddy, but we live in a jungle. There's always something out there.

(Jean calls Pumbaa ugly and Pumbaa is about to cry) Timon: Now just a minute, lady, that's my pal you're talking about. You call this handsome fellow ugly? (Pumbaa smiles at Timon) Timon: Gee. Okay he's not Brad Pig, but he ain't exactly ugly. (Pumbaa gives Timon a bigger smile) Timon: Okay, so he's exactly ugly. Next question. (Jean continues to watch Pumbaa) Pumbaa: Timon, she's watching me again. Make her stop. Stop watching me. Jean: I find the shy temperament of this particular warthog, who I shall call Melvin, to be quite charming. Timon: Nothing to be afraid of, Pumbaa. She finds you charming. Wait till she gets close enough to get a whiff of ya and the romance will be over. Jean: My ability to get to Melvin, however, is impeded by the presence of an annoying, common meerkat. Timon: Annoying?! Common?! Now wait just a parasite pickin' minute, lady! Just, Ayy!!! (Jean picks him up) Jean: Fortunately, the tiny beast poses no real threat and is easily expunged. (She flings Timon to a tree) Timon: YAAH! It hurts to be expunged.

(Jean has given Timon some bugs and Pumbaa comes to him) Pumbaa: Hey Timon, can I have some of your bugs, I'm awfully hungry. Timon: Ms. Turkey-neck over there won't like it, but I'll take the risk. (He grabs a tiny bug) Pumbaa: Gee, can ya spare it? Timon: No, but I'm a nice guy, so I'm gonna give it to you anyway. (Timon flings the bug and Pumbaa eats it, annoyed)

(Jean's last plan to escape Timon and Pumbaa fails) Jean: AHH! WHAA! I ADMIT IT. I can't decide which animal is better, meerkat or warthog. Uhh, I love you both! You're both absolutely fantastic! In fact, I wanna be you! (Takes off her glasses and puts her hair down) Jean: Look, I'm a meerkat! No, I'm a warthog. (Wears a Swedish costume and plays an accordion) Jean: No! Here look, I'm a Meerhog! I'm a Wartkat! Who's the real animal now?! (Jean starts to eat bugs) Jean: I'm nutty as a cocunut! (Jean laughs crazily as two male Naturalist show up and grab her with a net) Naturalist 1: What luck man! We've found a genuine Wild Woman of the Jungle. Naturalist 2: We'll be the first scientists in the world to actually capture one. Naturalist 1: Bravo for us! (The Naturalists leave with Jean as Timon and Pumbaa watch) Pumbaa: Ya know, Timon, I'm gonna miss that lady. Timon: Yeah. She brought out the best in us.