Maison Des Lunes

A song sung by Gaston, LeFou, and D'Arque in the musical.

Lyrics
Gaston: There's a danger I'll be thwarted

And denied my honeymoon

For the pretty thing I've courted

Refuse to swoon

So, the time has come for a murky plan

For which I turn to a murky man

LeFou: To find that fiend

Both: Where better than

The Maison des Lunes?

Gaston: I don't take this girl for granted

There's no path I haven't hewn

To her heart; no seed unplanted

No flowers unstrewn

But quite amazing to relate

She doesn't want me for her mate

LeFou: Which forces him to contemplate

Both: The Maison des Lunes

Monsieur D'Arque: I don't wish to seem a tad obtuse

But I don't see how I can be of use

For I lock people up; I'm not a "Lonely Heart's club"

I'm a cold, cold fish

I've a nasty, vicious streak

LeFou: Please speak!

Gaston: It's Belle's father who's your client

She adores the old buffoon

She'll be forced to be complaint

LeFou: She'll dance to your tune

Gaston: We get the daughter through her dad

You just pronounce the old boy mad

LeFou: And, whoosh! He's slammed up in your pad--

LeFou, D'Arque: The Maison des Lunes

Gaston: Do I make myself entirely clear?

D'Arque: It's the simplest deal of my whole foul career!

Gaston: Put Maurice away and she'll be here in moments

In a dreadful state

She'll capitulate to me!

D'Arque: I'll be strapping up an inmate

LeFou: Very tightly

Gaston: Very soon

D'Arque: But please don't bring him late

Our check-in time's noon!

LeFou, D'Arque: So, wave one bachelor goodbye

Gaston: She'll be my bride

LeFou: She'd rather die

Than have her daddy ossify?

D'Arque: In my sordid saloon

All: So book the church; raise the glasses high

To the Maison des Lunes!