The World's Greatest Criminal Mind

"World's Greatest Criminal Mind" is a song featured in Disney's The Great Mouse Detective. It is sung by Ratigan and his thugs. This song also includes a special appearance by Bill the Lizard from Alice in Wonderland.

The song begins with Ratigan mentioning his earlier crimes, and that his current plan will be even more wicked than before. It then changes to his henchmen singing their admiration of their evil leader before switching to Ratigan lamenting over Basil's constant interference with his plans, before wickedly claiming that not even Basil can stand in his way this time. The henchmen sing their praises again, but the song is interrupted when Bartholomew, a mouse who had made himself extremely drunk throughout the song, loudly calls Ratigan the 'world's greatest rat'. Enraged, Ratigan flings the henchman out his lair and has him devoured by Felicia. Once Bartholomew has been consumed, the henchmen resume their singing (mostly out of fear due to Ratigan giving the implied threat of feeding them to Felicia next if they didn't), and the song ends with them smashing their wine glasses together as Ratigan displays his signature grin.

Lyrics
Ratigan: (Laughs evilly) From the brain that brought you the Big Ben Caper

The head that made headlines in every newspaper

And wondrous things like the Tower Bridge Job

That cunning display that made Londoners sob

Now comes the real tour de force

Tricky and wicked, of course

My earlier crimes were fine for their times

But now that I'm at it again

An even grimmer plot has been simmering

In my great criminal brain

Thugs: Even meaner?

You mean it?

Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned?

You're the best of the worst around

Oh, Ratigan

Oh, Ratigan

The rest fall behind

To Ratigan

To Ratigan

The world's greatest criminal mind!

(Song temporarily pauses)

Ratigan: (Playing harp) Thank you, thank you... but it hasn't all been champaigne and caviar. I've had my share of adversity thanks to that miserable, second-rate detective, Basil of Baker Street!

Thugs: (Various boos)

Ratigan: (Overly dramatic) For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans! I haven't had a moment's peace of mind.

Thugs: (Various sympathetic aws)

Bartholomew: (Cries)

Ratigan: (Tone becomes hostile) But all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil can stand in my way! (Thugs bow to him) All will bow before me!

(Song resumes)

Thugs: Oh, Ratigan

Oh, Ratigan

You're tops and that's that

To Ratigan

To Ratigan

Bartholomew: (Clearly drunk) To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat! (Hiccups)

(Song temporarily stops)

Ratigan: (Spits out drink in shock)

Thugs: (Gasp)

Ratigan: What was THAT!?

Bartholomew: (Hiccups)

Ratigan: What did you call me?

Bartholomew: (Opens mouth to say something)

Thug #1: Oh, he didn't mean it, Professor!

Bill the Lizard: It was just a slip of the tongue!

Ratigan: (Angrily) I am NOT a rat!

Thug #2: 'Course you're not! You're a mouse!

Thug #1: Yeah, that's right; right, a mouse!

Bill the Lizard: Yeah, a big mouse!

Ratigan: SILENCE! (Throws Bartholomew outside; speaks in dramatic tone) Oh, my dear Bartholomew, I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. (Tone becomes hostile; pulls bell out of pocket) You know what happens when someone upsets me... (Rings bell)

Thugs: (Cries of shock as death bell rings)

Felicia: (Steps into room; walks towards Bartholomew)

Bartholomew: (Unaware he's about to die; begins singing) Oh, Ratigan

Oh, Ratigan

You're the tops and that's that.

(Hiccups; speaking) Oh, dear

(Resumes singing) To Ratigan

To Ratigan

Thugs: (Cries of fear)

Bartholomew: (Has been grabbed by Felicia, but is still unaware) To Ratigan

The world's greatest... (gets eaten)

Felicia: (Meows)

Thugs: (Mourn fall of their friend)

Ratigan: (Lovingly) Oh, Felicia, my precious, my baby. Did Daddy's little honey-bun enjoy her tasty treat?

Felicia: (Belches)

Ratigan: (Evil smile turns into frown; walks back inside) I trust there shall be no further interruptions. And now, as you were singing...?

Thugs: (Hesitate to singing until Ratigan pulls his bell back out)

(Song resumes)

Thugs: Even louder

Lets shout it!

No one can doubt what we know you can do

You're more evil than even you

Oh, Ratigan

Oh, Ratigan

You're one of a kind

To Ratigan

To Ratigan

The world's greatest criminal mind!

Trivia

 * There was a deleted lyric that expanded a bit on the London Bridge Job: Ratigan had thrown several civilian Mice into the Thames River, and shot any that attempted to surface. It was presumably cut because of the dark and family-unfriendly nature of the lyric.
 * Coincidentally, the name of the song was previously used with the character Egghead in the 1960s Batman show, who was portrayed by Ratigan's voice actor, Vincent Price.

French adaptation
The french version of the song, while using the same melody, is very different from the original version. This version removes all the references to the crime that Ratigan is on the point of making, being only a long compliment of the accomplices of Ratigan to their Master. This adaptation was composed by Charles Level and interpreted by Gérard Rinaldi as Ratigan and a chorus as Ratigans's accomplices. Interrestingly, this version contains 2 references to the Christian religion: the thugs say that Ratigan's the "worst creature of God", and later that he is "more evil than his brother, Lucifer". The lyrics are in french (the possible english traduction in italic):

Ratigan: Mon esprit hostile, mes coups faciles

My hostile mind, and my my easiest crimes

Ont fait les titres des journaux de la ville

Have made the headline of the City newspaper

Et tout devient sombre

And everything turns dark

Quand je sors de l'ombre

When I go out of the shadows

Et on me craint plus que la vieille Tour de Londres

And people fear me more than the old Tower of London

Mais je ne me force pas

But I don't need to make efforts

Pour être méchant comme ça :

To be as wicked as I am :

Je suis criminel, c'est tout naturel

I'm a criminal, it's only natural

Je fais des veuves, des orphelins

I make widows and orphans

Et je m'escrime

I'm making every effort

Je vais de crime en crime

I commit crime after crime

Pour oublier mon chagrin

To forget my chagrin !

Ratigan's accomplices: C'est le monstre des monstres

He's the monster of the monsters

Dans le milieu, on ne peut trouver mieux

In this job you can't get any better

T'es la pire créature de Dieu

You're the worst creature of Gof

Oh Ratigan ! Oh Ratigan !

Oh Ratigan, oh Ratingan !

Sanglant et brutal

Strapping and brutal

Oh Ratigan ! Oh Ratigan !

Oh Ratian, oh Ratigan !

Tu es le grand génie du mal

You're the great genius of the spite !

Ratigan (talking) Très touché, très touché. Mais sachez-le, ce ne fut pas que champagne et caviar… Oh, j'ai plus d'une fois connu l'adversité… par la faute de ce misérable, de ce minable Détective, Basil de Baker Street !!

''I'm very moved, very moved. But you must know one thing: it was not always champain and caviar… Oh, I have all too often experienced adversity… By the falt of this despicable, of this unlucky detective, Basil of Baker Street ! ''

Ratigan's accomplices (talking) Ouh...

Booh…

Ratigan (talking) Pendant des années, cet insupportable vermiceau a saccagé tous mes projets…

Years after years, this unbearable worm ravaged all my projects ...

Je n'ai pas eu un seul moment de repos ou de paix…

I had no minut of peace or break…

Ratigan's accomplicesOooh...

Oooh…

Ratigan (talking) Mais tout cela, c'est du passé, car cette fois-ci rien — et surtout pas Basil — ne se dressera devant moi. ! En revanche, le monde me léchera les pieds !

But all that is PAST, because this time nothing ''(and especially not Basil) will stop me ! However, the world will worship me!''

Ratigan's accomplices Oh Ratigan ! Oh Ratigan !

Oh Ratigan, oh Ratigan !

On est sous ta loi…

We're under your law… 

Oh Ratigan ! Oh Ratigan !

Oh Ratigan, oh Ratigan !

Bartholomew …tu es le rat le plus scélérat !

You're the most wretc rat ! In this lyric, in french, the pun is in the fact that the last syllable of the French word Scélérat (meaning wretch) is -RAT, which is also the French name of rats.

Ratigan (talking) Qu'est ce que j'ai entendu ?! Comment m'as-tu nommé ?

''What did I hear ? How did you named me ?!? ''

Bartholomew: (Hoquet)

(Hiccup)

Thug #1: Il a dit ça comme ça, professeur…

He said it without thinking…

Bill the Lizard: C'est sa langue qui a fourché, c'est rien…

His misspoke, it's nothing ...

Ratigan (talking): Je ne suis PAS un scélérat !

I'm NOT a wretch !

Thug #2: Non, non, vous êtes un beau rat, un très beau rat !

No, no, you're a beautiful rat, a very beautiful rat ! (continuation of the pun started earlier: here, they speak like if in "Scélérat", "scélé" was an adjective aposed to "rat", and they substitute it to "beau", which mean beautiful).

Bill the Lizard: Oui, oui, le plus beau des Rats !

Yes, yes, the world's most beautiful rat !

'Ratigan (talking) SILENCE ! Ah, mon cher Bartholomée… À mon grand regret, tu m'as indisposé… Et tu sais ce qui se passe, quand on m'indispose, moi… ?

''SILENCE ! Ah, my dear Bartholomew… To my regret, you upseted me… And you know what happens, when someone upsets me, me ?

[After comes the same noises than in the original version :]

Thugs: (Cries of shock as death bell rings)

Felicia: (Steps into room; walks towards Bartholomew)

Bartholomew: (Unaware he's about to die; begins singing) Oh, Ratigan

Oh, Ratigan

You're the tops and that's that.

(Hiccups; speaking) Oh, dear

(Resumes singing) To Ratigan

To Ratigan

Thugs: (Cries of fear)

Bartholomew: (Has been grabbed by Felicia, but is still unaware) To Ratigan

The world's greatest... (gets eaten)

Felicia: (Meows)

Thugs: (Mourn fall of their friend)

Ratigan: (Lovingly) Oh, Felicia, my precious, my baby. Did Daddy's little honey-bun enjoy her tasty treat?

Felicia: (Belches)

[Then there are also new differences:]

Ratigan (talking): Maintenant, puisque vous aviez le cœur à chanter…

And now, given that you had the mood to sing ...

Ratigan's accomplices Même son frère, Lucifer

His brother himself, Lucifer

Ne fait pas tout le mal qu'il peut nous faire !

Doesn't do all the bad things he can does to our !

Tu es plus affreux que l'enfer…

You are more awful than the Hell !

Oh Ratigan ! Oh Ratigan !

Oh Ratigan, oh Ratingan !

Sanglant et brutal

Strapping and brutal

Oh Ratigan ! Oh Ratigan !

Oh Ratian, oh Ratigan !

Tu es le grand génie du mal

You're the great genius of the spite !