Thread:Billy Cope/@comment-5091911-20150624202913/@comment-5091911-20150717081245

But still your being over specific and I'm left to adjust it all the time in order to be readable for others. Not just the episode pages, everything else you go on. for instance on the character page of Carol of the Arrow...


 * After Carol demands an explanation, Sofia tells her that the reason she didn't tell her and the Helping Hands who she was is because she wanted to be a Hand because of how much she Idolizes them and was scared she wouldn't let her into her Merry Band if she knew she's a Princess because of what she said earlier which makes Carol realize hat Sofia was there the whole time and makes her feel guilty both because she now understand how hurt Sofia was feeling because of her scornful remarks and for making Sofia mistakenly believe that her Merry Band of Helping Hands was a villager only thing. When Sofia leaves, Carol goes after her determined to apologize and set her straight.

How is a person suppose to understand and read all that without getting lost in the words. When I read this I ended getting lost and confused in the sentence because of the following reasons.
 * 1) You still ad too many reasons for why Sofia hid her royal identity and how guilty Carol felt. And the same goes for way you include certain plot points.
 * 2) You included too many "Thats", "Becauses" and commas.

Plots are stories not a list of facts, and in stories you don't need to include every explanation, every reason or every point out. This is why you need to review your work before you publish anything. You need to read trough what you have done, take second thoughts and careful consideration.