How to Be a Lady

How to Be a Lady is a song in "My Fair Goalie" by Eliza Flynn to Candace on how women should be proper to men.

Lyrics
It's found to be very hard to be a lady

There's so many Ps and Qs you have to mind

But the rewards I guarantee are rich and varied

And will be worth all of the effort, you will find

Your posture must be perfect

And your diction crisp and clear

Your speaking voice mellifluous and pleasing to the ear

Your legs are crossed when seated

Your toes are pointed so

Your pinkies raised while drinking

But that's not all you need to know

(Tune changes to more of a rock and roll number)

You mustn't curse or spit or tattle, never gossip

A lady never scratches, sweats, or burps

She knows which knife and fork and spoon and use and when

And if soup is served it's impolite to slurp

It's always "please and thank you, sir or madam"

Never bragging you aren't putting on a show

Ladies are demure and also proper

And that is really all you need to know!

Background Information

 * The title of the song could be a allusion to the song How to Be a Tigger from The Tigger Movie.
 * The song starts slow, then goes faster like in What'cha Doin? and Spa Day, A Real Boy and Wedding Adventure.
 * Candace carrying books on her head is a reference to how most women in real life do this to be more proper.