There's a Platypus Controlling Me

There's a Platypus Controlling Me is a rap sung by Dr. Doofenshmirtz and the party members from "Brain Drain".

Lyrics
Vanessa Doofenshmirtz: Dad?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Oh, hi, Vanessa!

Vanessa: Dad, what are you doing?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I'll be honest, I don't really understand

But I fell down this hill now I got glue on my hands

And I got records on my fingers

Kids: Whaaaat?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Records on my fingers

I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop

Kids: Don't stop

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I can't stop. I got a platypus controlling me

Kids: WHAAAAT?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I got a platypus controlling me

Now let me sum it up

It was a strange set of circumstances

Kids: Strange set of circumstances?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I fell down the hill, I got glue on my hands, now I got records on my fingers

And I just can't stop

Kids: DON'T STOP. DON'T STOP

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I would if I was able

there's a platypus controlling me he's underneath the table

Kids: There's a platypus controlling him—WHAAAT?

Kid: Oh I get it, platypus is a metaphor for whatever is keeping you down

Kids: Like corporations are a platypus

The government's a platypus

Your teacher is a platypus

Weird Kid: My teacher is a panda

Kids: Society's a platypus

My parents are a platypus

The media's a platypus

It's all just propaganda

Yeah we've all got platypus controlling us

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Just me

Kids: We've all got platypus controlling us

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I'd stop if I was able

Kids: We've all got platypus controlling us

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I'm not speaking metaphorically

the platypus controlling me is underneath the table

Wait! Oh wait, no, he's gone!

Heyyy! There's no platypus controlling me…

There's no platypus controlling me!

(Cheers)

Note

 * This song may resemble the song S.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants).