Gaston (song)

"Gaston" is a song sung by Gaston, LeFou, Gaston's buddies, and the villagers in Beauty and the Beast. It was sung to cheer up Gaston after Belle rejects his marriage proposal, and was started by Lefou. It is most famous for the phrase "No one [verb]s like Gaston". The phrase would become an Internet meme, even appearing as a catchphrase for Gaston in House of Mouse.

The version of the song featured on the soundtrack notably includes a small scene where LeFou tries to spell Gaston's name. This scene was cut from the film's version, however. This stanza was reinstated in the 2017 version, with Lefou mentioning that he's illiterate, which is why he is unable to spell it.

First
Original film= LeFou: Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston Looking so down in the dumps Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston Even when taking your lumps There's no man in town as admired as you You're everyone's favorite guy Everyone's awed and inspired by you And it's not very hard to see why!

No one's slick as Gaston No one's quick as Gaston No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston For there's no man in town half as manly! Perfect, a pure paragon! You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!

LeFou and Chorus: ''No one's been like Gaston A king pin like Gaston LeFou: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating! LeFou and Chorus: My what a guy, that Gaston! ''Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!"'' LeFou: Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!

Chorus: No one fights like Gaston Douses lights like Gaston In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston! Bimbettes: For there's no one as burly and brawny Gaston: As you see, I've got biceps to spare LeFou: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny. Gaston: That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair!

Chorus: No one hits like Gaston Matches wits like Gaston LeFou: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston Gaston: ''I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptoooie!'' Chorus: Ten points for Gaston!

Gaston: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs Ev'ry morning to help me get large And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs So I'm roughly the size of a barge!

Chorus: No one shoots like Gaston Makes those beauts like Gaston LeFou: Then goes tromping around Wearing boots like Gaston! Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating!

[Heard only in the soundtrack version] Chorus: Say it again! Who's a man among men? And then say it once more Who's that hero next door? Who's a super success? ''Don't you know? Can't you guess?'' Ask his fans and his five hangers-on There's just one guy in town Who's got all of it down... LeFou: And his name's G-A-S... T...'' G-A-S-T-E... ''G-A-S-T-O... ohh, ow...'' Chorus: GASTON!!!

[Heard only in the film version] Chorus: My what a guy! GASTON! LeFou: Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston Looking so down in the dumps Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston Even when taking your lumps There's no man in town as admired as you You're everyone's favorite guy Everyone's awed and inspired by you And it's not very hard to see why!
 * -|2017 version=

No one's slick as Gaston No one's quick as Gaston No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's For there's no man in town half as manly! Village Lasses: Perfect, a pure paragon! LeFou: You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

LeFou and Chorus: Who plays darts like Gaston Who breaks hearts like Gaston LeFou: Who's much more than the sum of his parts like Gaston? Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating! LeFou and Chorus: My what a guy, that Gaston!

Gaston: I needed encouragement--thank you, LeFou! LeFou: Well, there's no one as easy to bolster as you! ...Too much? Gaston: Yep.

Chorus: No one fights like Gaston Douses lights like Gaston LeFou: In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!

Gaston: When I hunt I sneak up with my quiver And beasts of the field say a prayer First I carefully aim for the liver Then I shoot from behind LeFou: Is that fair? Gaston: I don't care.

Chorus: No one hits like Gaston Matches wits like Gaston LeFou: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston Gaston: ''I'm especially good at expectorating! *spits*'' Chorus: Ten points for Gaston!

Gaston: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs Ev'ry morning to help me get large And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs So I'm roughly the size of a barge!

(instrumental break)

LeFou and Chorus: Who has brains like Gaston Entertains like Gaston Gaston: Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston? I use antlers in all of my decorating

Chorus: Say it again! Who's a man among men? Who's a super success? ''Don't you know? Can't you guess?'' Ask his fans and his five hangers-on There's just one guy in town Who's got all of it down... LeFou: ''And his name's G-A-S... T...'' I believe there's another T... It just occurred to me that I'm illiterate and I've never actually had to spell it out loud before... Chorus: GASTON!!!

Reprise
Film= Gaston: LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking LeFou: A dangerous pastime Gaston: I know, But that wacky old coot is Belle's father And his sanity's only so-so Now the wheels in my head have been turning Since I looked at that loony old man See, I promised myself I'd be married to Belle And right now I'm evolving a plan!

''If I... *whispering*'' LeFou: Yes? Gaston: ''Then we... *whispering*'' LeFou: No, would she? Gaston: *whispering* Guess! LeFou: Now I get it! Gaston and LeFou: Let's go!

No one plots like Gaston Gaston: Takes cheap shots like Gaston LeFou: Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston! Chorus : So his marriage we soon will be celebrating My what a guy Gaston! Gaston: LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking It's a dangerous pastime, I know But that wacky old coot is Belle's father And his sanity's only so-so Now the wheels in my head have been turning Since I looked at that loony old man See, I've promised myself I'll be married to Belle And right now I'm evolving a plan!
 * -|Demo version=

If I... *whispering* LeFou:' Yes? Gaston: Then we... *whispering* LeFou: No, would she? Gaston: *whispering* Guess! LeFou: Now I get it! Gaston and LeFou: Let's go!

Chrous: No one plots like Gaston Gaston: Takes cheap shots like Gaston LeFou: Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston! Gaston: Yes, I'm endlessly wildly resourceful LeFou: As down to the depths you descend Gaston: I won't even be mildly remorseful Just as long as I get what I want in the end!

Chorus : Who has brains like Gaston Entertains like Gaston LeFou: Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston? Chorus: And his marriage we soon will be celebrating

Say it again! Who's a ten out of ten? Then let's say it once more Like we did heretofore He's a champ, he's an ace It's all over his face He's got brains and especially brawn It's Gaston! Gaston: Thank you boys! Chorus: Gaston! Gaston: Oh, please! Chorus: GASTON!!! Gaston: That's me!

Trivia

 * The song was originally supposed to have different lyrics. However, the test lyrics proved to be so popular during development that they were used in the final version.
 * The third issue of the Marvel Comics serial for Beauty and the Beast's ending had Gaston and LeFou engaging in similar dialogue to the beginning of the Gaston song.
 * In the reprise, the final verses in the film version imply that the entire village (exempting possibly the Bimbettes) knew and agreed with Gaston's plans of blackmail.
 * The Broadway version, however, omits this implication by having everyone leave the tavern before Gaston and LeFou start plotting. Consequentially, this resulted in LeFou and Gaston actually singing the final verses in the musical, which had previously been reserved for the chorus in the film. In addition, the comic adaptation also cuts out the song entirely and implies that, besides LeFou and the warden, no one actually knew about the plot.
 * In the 2017 live-action version, this song is presented largely the same, but with some additional lyrics and ends differently, as seen above. However, the reprise of the song is omitted entirely, due to a major plot change in the manner in which Gaston deals with Maurice. Also, by comparison, some of the lyrics are different than others. Either for verity or to use the unused lyrics in the remake.
 * This song in the live-action remake was the reason the Malaysian Film Censorship Board delayed the film's release in Malaysia to March 30 due to Gaston's bite mark on Lefou.