The History of the Tri-State Area

 is a song performed by Don, a city hall tour guide in the episode "Where's Pinky?", explaining the Tri-State Area's long history to city hall visitors.

Lyrics

 * Don: A lot of people know that the Tri-State Area
 * Used to be a Bi-State Area with an Adjacent Area over there;
 * What people don't know is that originally it was three distinct
 * Single-State Areas, but people don't care.
 * The founders of the Area were independent thinkers,
 * Completely unaffected by bureaucratic hurdles
 * And that's why the Capitol building was moved here from Sri Lanka
 * On the backs of seven giant sea turtles.
 * It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area,
 * Formed mostly from adobe and seaweed;
 * If you've heard it different elsewhere, that's historical hysteria,
 * So stop believing everything you read!
 * Over here's a diorama of the first diorama
 * Of Vincent Diorama, who lived right here!
 * When I say "right here", I mean in this very room,
 * 'Til we moved him to a studio apartment last year.
 * It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area,
 * Don't mean to cause a ruckus or a fuss;
 * It's the birthplace of the onion and the Danville cafeteria,
 * And home of Bigfoot's hairless cousin, us!
 * It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area,
 * Where planet Venus holds some office space;
 * Try to think of someplace better, well I double-dog-dare ya,
 * But if you can't, then get out of my face!
 * It's the
 * Don and male tour patrons: History of the Tri-State Area!
 * Background singer: History of the
 * Background singer, Candace, and female tour patrons: Tri-State Area!
 * Background singer: Area! yeah

Background information

 * The tour guide, Don, is voiced by Wayne Brady of Whose Line Is It Anyway? and Let's Make a Deal fame. Brady co-wrote the song as well.