Thread:Disneyfan789/@comment-5091911-20170828094034

Sentences
You've got the idea and it's good you're putting some effort into extending the plot, but some of the sentences you have written are too long and the choice of words are awkward. You add Too many "Ands", "Thats", "Tells", "Thens" and "Names". Most of your sentences are three to four lines long. Not that I'm saying it's a problem, but you do need a moment to catch your breath. Some people read through very fast, and when I do I often lose pace.

Try reading this at fast pace outloud and you might get what I mean.


 * One morning on the Stellosphere at breakfast, Miles asks Stella for two bowls of Orbit O's with Marsberries for him and M.E.R.C. which she does, but then tells Miles that she's out of Marsberries, Miles then decides to pick some from the garden.

From the way it looks you're trying to include everything that is seen in the episode. When it comes to writing plots for this Wiki you're just writing a short version of the episode not a screenplay. You've seen how I've re written two plots for latest Sofia episodes, and they sound a lot better without all those long sentences and extra information you put in. You can learn from that.

Sandboxes
The important thing about writing plots is taking your time. Go through your writing first until it sounds perfect. The best way to do that is to write it in a sanbox before publishing it to the actual articles.

Infoboxes
When inserting infoboxes, please try not to leave the code layout looking like a paragraph. At the bottom of every infobox there is a button that reads "[source]" which will take you to the source of the infoboxes and a preview of the code's layout. It's tidier to copy and paste the code. 