Thread:Dlrgirl75/@comment-25135826-20131207152714/@comment-25135826-20131224024318

Hey. I'm making a fanfic about Hans after the events of Frozen. One is a Hans/Elsa ship one, and one where he dies. And I would really love some feedback on what I have so far (they are the same as of right now, they'll change after Elsa talks to Klaus):

Hans looked out the window of his cell. His mother, father, and 12 brothers were angry with him. When he came back from Arendelle, he got a scolding from all of them. His punishment was to be decided, so for now he was stuck in jail. ''Joy. ''He thought sarcastically. He saw the day slowly turn into night.



 The next day, the guards came into his cell. They chose to kill him for his crime. But they had to figure how. “Ahem. A, um, Prince Hans? You need to come with us.” said one of the guards. Slowly, Hans got up; before they left the guards tied his hands together with rope. When they arrived in a small room, Hans saw someone. She looked like someone he met before. Wait, it was Elsa! Hans winced, ready to expect an argument.



 “Hello.” Elsa said calmly as Hans sat down on a chair, “How are you? I guess you’re expecting a punishment in a few days or so.” Hans looked down at the floor.



 “Why are you here?” Hans grumbled. He looked up at Elsa. How could she be so calm right now? Shouldn’t she be freaked out she’s in the same room with a guy that tried to kill her?



 “Thought I’d come for a visit. Heard the Southern Isles were amazing in the Summertime.” Elsa said, eyeing him. A long silence followed. Finally, Elsa said, “Ahem. I now know what your punishment is.”



 “I don’t care anymore. So why bother?” said Hans angrily. He heard Elsa let out an angry huff.



 “You are going to be killed.” Elsa said glaring at him. Hans stood up.



 “What? You’re going to kill me? Is that the only option?” Hans asked. He walked up to Elsa. Elsa held up her hands and pushed him back a little, he got a bit too close to her. She calmly said, “It wasn’t my idea... okay, maybe it was,” she paused, “but if you prove yourself worthy to never do this again, we’ll rethink it. Goodbye Hans, have a good afternoon.” She walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Hans huffed.



 Elsa walked into the castle of his eldest brother, Klaus, who just had become king, and into her guest bedroom. She sat on the bed and sighed. Then, there was a knock on the door. “Come in. The door’s open.” Elsa said staring at the wall.

<p style="margin:0.0px0.0px0.0px0.0px;text-align:justify;font:12.0pxHelvetica;min-height:14.0px">

<p style="margin:0.0px0.0px0.0px0.0px;text-align:justify;font:12.0pxHelvetica"> “Hello, Elsa.” Klaus said entering the room, “Did you talk to Hans yet?” Klaus sat next to her.

<p style="margin:0.0px0.0px0.0px0.0px;text-align:justify;font:12.0pxHelvetica;min-height:14.0px">

<p style="margin:0.0px0.0px0.0px0.0px;text-align:justify;font:12.0pxHelvetica"> “Yes.” Elsa said, turning to look at him.