The Elf Police

The Elf Police is a song originally written for Phineas and Ferb Holiday Favorites. It is performed by Buford.

Lyrics
It's written that Christmas is the happiest holiday

But don't believe everything you read, kid

'Cause there's one elf branch who have Santa's carte blanche

To get the dirt on every bad thing you did

The Elf Police, with their X-ray stare

Can see you chew gum in class and cheat at solitaire

Do anything bad and you better beware

'Cause the Elf Police see everywhere

You can live in an igloo with a polar bear

An ashram, a teepee or a bathysphere

Even in an outhouse, you won't have a prayer

'Cause the Elf Police can see you everywhere

Because the Elf Police see you everywhere

The Elf Police can see you everywhere

The Elf Police can see you everywhere

The Elf Police can see you everywhere

You can live in Nome, Alaska, even live with a gnome

Or in a leaky houseboat on the banks of the Rhone

With chickens in a chicken coop to call your home

But if you've been naughty, don't matter where you roam

Because the Elf Police see you everywhere

The Elf Police can see you everywhere

The Elf Police can see you everywhere

The Elf Police can see you everywhere

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells (repeated over monologue)

Buford speaking: We don't have elf-run jails, but if we did, they'd be full...of people who all year woulda kinda wish they'd been gooder. So be good...

Because the Elf Police see you everywhere

The Elf Police can see you everywhere

The Elf Police can see you everywhere

The Elf Police can see you everywhere

Because the Elf Police see you everywhere

The Elf Police can see you everywhere

The Elf Police can see you everywhere

The Elf Police can see you everywhere

Buford speaking: That might've sounded a little paranoid, but they are everywhere. Even in your underwear. You didn't hear that from me. Yeah, I gotta go make my Christmas list.