Town Meeting Song

Lyrics
[JACK] There were object so peculiar They were not to be believed All around, things to tantalize my brain

It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen And as hard as I try I can't seem to describe Like a most improbable dream

But you must believe when I tell you this It's as real as my skull and it does exist Here, let me show you

This is a thing called a present The whole thing starts with a box

[DEVIL] A box? Is it steel?

[WEREWOLF] Are there locks?

[HARLEQUIN DEMON] Is it filled with a pox?

[DEVIL, WEREWOLF, HARLEQUIN DEMON] A pox How delightful, a pox

[JACK] If you pleae Just a box with bright-colored paper And the whole thing's topped with a bow

[WITCHES] A bow? But why? How ugly What's in it? What's in it?

[JACK] That's the point of the thing, not to know

[CLOWN] It's a bat

[CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS] Will it bend?

[CLOWN] It's a rat

[CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS] Will it break?

[UNDERSEA GAL] Perhaps it's the head that I found in the lake

[JACK] Listen now, you don't understand That's not the point of Christmas land

Now, pay attention Now we pick up an over-sized sock And hang it like this on the wall

[MR. HYDE] Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot?

[MEDIUM MR. HYDE] Let me see, let me look

[SMALL MR. HYDE] Is it rotted and covered with gook?

[JACK] Hmm, let me explain There's no foot inside, but there's candy or sometimes it's filled with small toys

[MUMMY AND WINGED DEMON] Small toys

[WINGED DEMON] Do they bite?

[MUMMY] Do they snap?

[WINGED DEMON] Or explode in a sack?

[CORPSE KID] Or perhaps they just spring out And scare girls and boys

[MAYOR] What a splendid idea This Christmas sounds fun Why, I fully endorse it Let's try it at once

[JACK] Everyone, please now, not so fast There's sometihng here that you don't quite grasp Well, I may as well give them what they want

And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last For the ruler of this Christmas land Is a fearsome King with a deep mighty voice Least that's what I've come to understand

And I've also heard it told That's he's something to behold Like a lobster, huge and red And sets out to slay with his rain gear on Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms That is, so I've heard it said

And on a darkm cold night Under full moonlight He flies into a fog Like a vulture in the sky And they call him Sandy Claws

Well, at least they're excited Though they don't understand That special lind of feeling in Christmas land Oh, well...