"Ik ben nummer één, jij nummer twee" (Engels: "I'm Number One") is een liedje uit de film Muppets Most Wanted.
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Constantine: I'm number one, You're number two We're crimminals at large But I'm at larger than you I'm number one, You're number two I believe in equality As long as you get less than me! I'm one, Dominic: You're one Constantine: You're number two Dominic: I'm number two Constantine: You may think that you're smarter, But I'm smarter-er than you! I'm number one! You're number two! You're lucky to be number two Not number three! I can see by the look in your eye You want to get the bigger piece of the pie One day, you'll get your chance But in the meantime, you've got to dance monkey dance! Dominic: Really? I hate dancing. Constantine: Do it! Dance monkey dance! Ha Ha! Dominic: I'm number two He's number one I can't believe I'm working for an amphibian I'm number two He's number one Constantine: I'm number one! Dominic: You know life's gone to the dogs when your boss is a frog! I can see it's just a matter of time before he's gone And I'm at the front of the line! It won't be long 'til I get my chance But in the meantime, I've got to dance monkey dance Constantine: Dance monkey dance! Now, watch me! I'm number one! Dominic: He's number one! Constantine: You're number two! Dominic: I'm number two! Constantine: That's it, kid, there you go Now step aside, this ain't your show! I'm one Dominic: I'm one Constantine: I'm number one! Dominic: Yes, we know! Constantine (Dominic): I'm (He's) number one! Constantine: That's how it's done!
Dominic: I'm number one, you're number two! Constantine: Shut up!