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"A Professional Pirate" is a song sung by Long John Silver and his pirate henchmen in the film, Muppet Treasure Island. It is sung when they try to convince Jim Hawkins to join their crew but fail.

Lyrics[]

Long John:
When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation
My father said "Now, son, this choice deserves deliberation
Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier
My boy, why not consider a more challenging career?"

Pirates:
Hey, ho, ho
You'll cruise to foreign shores (Long John: Ha ha ha! Sing it, lads!)
And you'll keep your mind and body sound (Long John: Show him you've been practicing!)
By working out of doors

Long John:
True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without

All:
And when you're a professional pirate

Bad Polly:
That's what the job's about

Long John:
Upstage, lads, this is my only number!

Now, take Sir Francis Drake; the Spanish all despise him
But to the British he's a hero and they idolize him
It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good
And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood!

Pirates:
Hey, ho, ho (Long John: Oh, I love it!)
We're honorable men (Long John: 'Tis poetry in motion!)
And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten!

Long John:
On occasion there may be someone you have to execute

All:
But when you're a professional pirate

Clueless Morgan:
You don't have to wear a suit
...What?

Mad Monty:
I could have been a surgeon
I like taking things apart!

Bad Polly:
I could have been a lawyer
But I just had too much heart

Clueless Morgan:
I could have been in politics
'Cause I've always been a big spender

Black-Eyed Pete:
And me... I could have been a contender

Long John:
Some say that pirates steal and should be feared and hated
I say we're victims of bad press; it's all exaggerated
We'd never stab you in the back, we'd never lie or cheat
We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet!

(Long John's speech)

All:
Hey, ho, ho
It's one for all for one
And we'll share-and-share-alike with you and love you like a son
We're gentlemen of fortune and that's what we're proud to be
And when you're a professional pirate

Long John:
You'll be honest, brave, and free
The soul of decency
You'll be loyal and fair and on the square
And most importantly

All:
When you're a professional pirate
You're always in the best of company!


v - e - d
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Media
Television shows: The MuppetsMuppet BabiesMuppets NowThe Muppets Mayhem

Television specials: The Muppets at Walt Disney WorldStudio DC: Almost LiveA Muppets Christmas: Letters to SantaGood Luck CharlieMuppets Haunted Mansion
Movies: The Muppet Christmas CarolMuppet Treasure IslandThe Muppets' Wizard of OzThe MuppetsMuppets Most WantedMuppet ManJim Henson Idea Man
Video Games: My Muppets ShowAnimal DrummerTap Tap MuppetsDisney Emoji BlitzDisney Heroes: Battle ModeDisney Magic Kingdoms
Albums: The Muppet Christmas Carol Story AlbumThe Muppet Christmas Carol soundtrackMuppet Treasure Island soundtrackBest of the MuppetsA Green and Red ChristmasA Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa soundtrackMuppets: The Green AlbumThe Muppets soundtrackMuppets Most Wanted soundtrackMuppets Most Wanted scoreLondon Music Works Perform Music From The MuppetsDisney Junior Music: Muppet BabiesMuppets Haunted Mansion soundtrackThe Muppets Mayhem soundtrack
Cancelled projects: America's Next MuppetMuppets Live Another Day

Disney Parks
Muppets CourtyardMidship Detective AgencyMuppet*Vision 3D

Entertainment: Here Come the MuppetsHollywood's Pretty WomanMuppet Mobile LabMuppets on Location: Days of Swine and RosesThe Muppets Present… Great Moments in American History
Restaurants: PizzeRizzoThe Great Gonzo's Pandemonium Pizza ParlorRegal Eagle Smokehouse
Shops: Stage 1 Company Store
Parades: Disney Stars and Motor Cars Parade
Christmas: Disney Holidays in Hollywood

Characters
Muppets: Kermit the FrogMiss PiggyFozzie BearGonzoAnimalRizzo the RatPepe the King PrawnStatler and WaldorfDr. Bunsen HoneydewBeakerScooterBean BunnyDr. TeethFloyd PepperJaniceZootRowlf the DogRobin the FrogThe Swedish ChefSam the EagleSweetumsBobo the BearPopsUncle DeadlyCamillaWaldo C. GraphicCliffordThogLew ZealandLink HogthrobBeauregardJohnny FiamaSal MinellaAngeloWalter80's RobotThe MoopetsConstantineDeniseChip
Big Mean Carl

Humans: Dorothy GaleClaireSanta ClausFrank MeanyBeaker's GirlfriendGaryMaryTex RichmanVeronica MartinHobo JoeMargeReceptionistDominic BadguyNadyaJean Pierre NapoleonBeckyHolly and Carl
Muppet Treasure Island: Jim HawkinsBilly BonesMrs. BluveridgeLong John SilverPolly Lobster
The Muppets' Wizard of Oz: Dorothy Gale

Vehicles
HispaniolaThe Electric Mayhem Bus
Locations
The Muppet TheaterMuppet Studios
Songs
The Muppet Movie: The Rainbow Connection

The Muppet Christmas Carol: ScroogeRoom in Your HeartGood King WenceslasOne More Sleep 'til ChristmasMarley and MarleyChairman of the BoardFozziwig's PartyWhen Love is GoneIt Feels Like ChristmasChristmas ScatBless Us AllThankful HeartWhen Love Is Found
Muppet Treasure Island: Treasure IslandShiver My TimbersSomething BetterSailing for AdventureCabin FeverA Professional PirateBoom ShakalakaLove Led Us HereLove PowerLove Led Us Here
Muppet Treasure Island (Sing-Alongs): There Was an Old PirateI'm a RockReal PirateLet the Good Shine Out
The Muppets' Wizard of Oz: KansasWhen I'm With YouNap TimeThe Witch Is in the HouseCalling All MunchkinsGood Life
A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa: Delivering ChristmasIt's All About HeartI Wish I Could Be Santa ClausMy Best Christmas Yet
The Muppets: The Muppet Show ThemeLife's a Happy SongPictures in My HeadMe and Julio Down by the SchoolyardWe Built This CityMe PartyLet's Talk About MeMan or MuppetSmells Like Teen SpiritForget YouThe Whistling Caruso
Muppets Most Wanted: The Muppet Show ThemeWe're Doing a SequelI'm Number OneThe Big HouseI'll Get You What You Want (Cockatoo in Malibu)Interrogation SongMy Heart Will Go OnSomething So RightWorking in the Coal MineTogether AgainMoves Like JaggerMacarena
Muppet Babies: Muppet Babies Theme
Muppets Haunted Mansion: Rest in PeaceLife HereafterTie the Knot TangoDancing in the Moonlight

See also
The Muppets
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