The Adolescent Song is a musical number from the Nightmare Ned video game. It is heard in the Bathroom nightmare, after Ned Needlemeyer enters a room with three fun house mirrors. The reflections sing a song about what growing up is like. Though Ned finds it unsettling, he thinks the song is lame.
Lyrics[]
Ned: (spoken) What is this? Some kind of gorilla?
Hairy Ned:Ain't no gorilla, ain't no grizzly bear, I'm what you're gonna be someday.
Ned: (spoken) No way!
Hairy Ned:So fuzzy and so furry everywhere. That's right, my boy, and you'll have so much hair that your mom won't even know ya. She'll scream, "Get away from me!"
Ned: (spoken) She will?
Hairy Ned:Yeah. And that's the truth on just how growing up is gonna be.
Tall Ned:Bet you wish you were dreaming.
Ned: (spoken) Yeah.
Tall Ned:No chance. You are gonna be twelve feet tall.
Ned: (spoken) Oh no!
Tall Ned:And everyone will look like tiny ants. Much like the Eiffel Tower wearing pants.
Ned: (spoken) Aah!
Tall Ned:You're so shrimpy now, kid, don't ya wanna grow up tall?
Ned: (spoken) Not that tall!
Tall Ned:Well, that's how growing up will be, and that's not all.
Ned: (spoken) It's not?
Zit Ned:Your cute little dimples will turn to little pimples going pop, pop, pop...
Ned: (spoken) Stop!
Zit Ned:Pop, pop, pop!
Ned: (spoken) Stop!
Zit Ned:You won't get a warning, and every single morning you will find a brand-new crop.
Ned: (spoken) Stop!
Zit Ned:But the worst part of it is...
Ned: (spoken) What?
Zit Ned:Nobody else is gonna look like this.
Funhouse Neds:You'll try ointments, creams, and gels, but you'll still be different from everyone else!
Ned: (spoken) Wait a minute.
Nobody comes out looking like that!
Funhouse Neds:No, no, nobody but you, poor guy.
Ned: (spoken) You're just trying to scare me.
Funhouse Neds:No, we're not! But hey, if you believe it's all a lie, you can go ahead and think so, ’cause someday you will know it's true.
Ned: (spoken) I will, huh?
Funhouse Neds:You'll look into the mirror...
Ned: (spoken) Yeah?
Funhouse Neds:And it will all be clearer.
Ned: (spoken) Sure.
Funhouse Neds:You'll know the awful things that growing up can do to you!
