Brimstone and Treacle is a song from the stage adaptation of Mary Poppins that is broken into two parts.
The first part acts as Miss Andrew's introduction as well her describing her cruel methods of raising children, primarily punishing the with a tonic of her making called "Brimstone and Treacle".
The second part occurs after Mary Poppins returns and confronts the evil nanny where she releases a caged lark and both figuratively and literally gives Miss Andrew a taste of her own medicine before forcing her into an oversized birdcage that goes "down below".
Lyrics
Taken from the Original London Cast Recording
(Spoken)
Miss Andrew: These children have been spoiled
I arrived here just in time!
(Sung)
By chance I brought the punishment
that best befits the crime
Brimstone and Treacle and codliver oil
Liberal doses of each
These are the treats from which children recoil
The lessons I'm going to teach
Just follow my model, and don't mollycoddle
It may lead the irksome to irk
So seek satisfaction from punitive action
Brimstone and Treacle will work!
(Spoken)
Miss Andrew: Open!
Michael Banks: Does it taste as bad as it smells?!
Miss Andrew:' Worse!
Michael Banks: Do I have to?
Miss Andrew: [forces tonic into Michael's mouth, who gags] OPEN!!!
(Sung)
Miss Andrew: Brimstone and Treacle and carbolic soap
These are the tools of my trade.
With spoonfuls of sugar you don't have a hope
Of seeing that changes are made.
Where manners are chronic, my tincture's the tonic!
It's certain to wipe off a smirk.
Just pour out a ration, in matronly fashion
Brimstone and Treacle will work!
I won't stand for simpering, whinging, and whimpering
Sucking of thumbs is absurd!
Observe every letter for children are better
When they can be seen and not heard!
(Spoken)
Your son will go to boarding school at once!
As for the girl, I shall take charge of her myself
(Sung)
To cosset and pamper will hinder and hamper
The child in whom bad habits lurk
First threaten to throttle, then uncork the bottle
Brimstone and treacle will work
Brimstone and Treacle will work!
(Spoken)
Michael Banks: Perhaps she's killed everyone! Perhaps they're all dead!
Jane Banks: (bird chirps) What's that?
Mary Poppins: It's a caged bird!
(Sung)
(bird chirps) Did she? Well, frankly that's not a surprise.
(bird chirps) Locked in this cage and not free in the skies?
(bird chirps) For two years? How shameful!
(bird chirps) Yes, of course, that's a field I know well
An hour, no longer, your wings will grow stronger
Once you are free from this cell.
(Spoken)
Michael Banks: What kind of bird is it?
Mary Poppins: A lark. You are seeing a lark in a cage for the first time and the last time! (Releases bird, it chirps) My pleasure! (bird chirps) Don't mention it!
Miss Andrew: So, children! You've decided to come crawling back, have you? Well, I think we know what's needed now!
(Sung)
Brimstone and Treacle, my favourite liquor
that will make runaways-- Stop!
Impudent children respond so much quicker
When forced to drink every last drop!
(Spoken)
Mary Poppins: Is this what you're looking for?
Miss Andrew: Who are you?
Mary Poppins: I'm Mary Poppins.
Miss Andrew: Mary Poppins!? But you left without notice!
Mary Poppins: And I've come back without notice.
Miss Andrew: I see. And what do you expect me to do?
Mary Poppins: Pack.
Miss Andrew: Pack!?
(Sung)
Silly little girl with your new-fangled methods
I bring up children so they know their place!
Standing for to tradition, I govern my charges-
Mary Poppins: Mishandled charges blow up in your face.
Miss Andrew: I brought up their father-
Mary Poppins: Now that I don't doubt.
You must be so proud at the way he turned out.
Miss Andrew: A shining example, a pillar-
Mary Poppins: A post.
They all have their problems, but him more than most!
Miss Andrew: [Gasps] You let my little lark out of his cage
Now you will bear the full brunt of my rage!
Brimstone and Treacle for you.
Brimstone and Treacle for you...
Mary Poppins: Just a spoonful of sugar...
Miss Andrew: Brimstone and Treacle for you...
Mary Poppins: Just a spoonful of sugar...
Miss Andrew: Brimstone and Treacle for you!...
Mary Poppins: Just a spoonful of sugar. Ah, ah ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah aaah-
Both: Ah, ah ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah aaah-
aaaaaah, aaaah, aaah, aaah, aaaah, aaah-
Mary Poppins: Ah, ah ah ah ah ah, ah, aah
Miss Andrew: (swallows a spoonful of tonic) Ah ah ah ah ah, ugh, urgh
Both: Aaaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaaaaah...
Mary Poppins: Ah ah ah ah, ah aah-
Miss Andrews: [drinks the bottle down] Gah ah ah ah agh, ugh, urgh, rup grup, mmmrup!!
Mary Poppins: I recognize fully, that you are a bully
Who views cruel deeds as a perk.
Well now, here's the catch, because you've met your match
Brimstone and Treacle-
Miss Andrew: Brimstone and Treacle...
Mary Poppins: Brimstone and Treacle-
Miss Andrew: Brimstone and Treacle
Both: Won't!
Mary Poppins: Work!
Miss Andrew: (Screams)
