"I'm No Fool" is the theme song for the I'm No Fool series of educational shorts made for The Mickey Mouse Club. The song is performed by Jiminy Cricket, and each short in the series features alternate bridges that reveal the consequences a "fool" will experience if he doesn't follow safety rules or common sense.
Jimmie Dodd wrote the lyrics for all the shorts, except for I'm No Fool with Electricity, which was created after his death.
Lyrics[]
Anyone can be a fool and do things which are wrong
But fools find out, when it's too late, that they don't live so long
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 93
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool!
Any fool neglects his bike and thinks he's being smart
He doesn't give it any care and soon, it falls apart
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 23
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool will load his bike so much, that he can't see
He rides on sidewalks, so what happens? A catastrophe!
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 33
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Showoff is a stupid thing, as any fool should know
He thinks it's fun, but what a sorry ending to his show
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 53
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool gets signals wrong, or maybe not at all
He doesn't look ahead and so he's headin' for a fall
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 103
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool!
Any fool who plays with matches doesn't comprehend
That matches aren't playthings, so he gets burned in the end
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 23
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool keeps lots of rubbish, grease and paint rags, too
Spontaneous combustion follows
That means fire without matches, stupid!
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 33
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool goes camping, in amongst our lovely trees
And with his careless campfires makes our trees just memories
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 53
I play safe for you and me
'cause I'm no fool
Any fool's house catches fire, so he runs 'round and 'round
And while he's looking where to phone, his house burns to the ground
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 103
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool!
Any fool plays in the street, as though it were a field
A bumper throws him for a loss against a car's windshield
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 23
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool walks blindly on because he's such a droop
He runs on slippery streets, and so he winds up in the soup
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 33
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Showoff wants the world to think he's quite a clever clown
He learns the higher up you are, the harder you fall down
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 53
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool gets out of cars the wrong side only once
And if he lives to tell the tale, he's crowned a stupid dunce
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 103
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool!
Any fool ignores all signs, he thinks he's smart enough
A riptide takes him out to sea and treats him plenty rough
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 23
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool depends on props to float and service him
He soon finds out prop can't replace knowing how to swim
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 33
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool eats lots of food and goes in for a dip
The cramps that follow sink him like an overloaded ship
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 53
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool has no idea how much strength he's got
He tries to swim too far and finds he's really in a spot
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 103
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool!
Any fool strays off the trail and hikes through poison oak
He climbs up on a wobbly peak and what happens is no joke
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 23
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool, his first time out, gets all the sun he can
For him, the sandy beach becomes a sizzling frying pan
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 33
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool does not believe in signs; he's such a goon!
He may start out ice-skating, but he's drowning pretty soon
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 53
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Showoff overdoes athletics, runs and jumps about
He tries all sports at once, and then exhaustion knocks him out
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 103
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool!
Any fool who overloads an electrical outlet…
…will find all his plugins are something he'll regret
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 23
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool sits where it's damp and strums electric rock
Finds water a conductor, but, it comes as quite a shock!
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 33
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool who flies his kite when there's a chance of rain…
…could find the drizzle makes him sizzle, which proves his lack of brain
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 53
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool
Any fool who leaves his room with electric toys plugged in…
…could soon see a firetruck where his room had been
Oh, I'm no fool, no siree
I want to live to be 103
I play safe for you and me
'Cause I'm no fool!
You're no fool, no siree
You're gonna live to be 103
You play safe for you and me
'Cause you're... no... fool!