"Gee, Officer Krupke" is a song that is featured in the 2021 live-action feature film, West Side Story. When Anybodys (Iris Menas) assaults an officer in the police station and runs out, Officer Krupke (Brian d'Arcy James) locks the rest of the Jets in an office before chasing after her. Left alone, the Jets trash the office and parody all the social institutions which are supposed to be helping them while singing this song.
Lyrics[]
Diesel:
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringin' up-ke
That gets us out of hand
Big Deal:
Our mothers all are junkies
A-Rab:
Our fathers all are drunks
Diesel:
Golly Moses, naturally
We're punks!
Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset!
We never had the love that every child oughta get!
We ain't no delinquents!
We're misunderstood!
Deep down inside us, there is good
A-Rab:
There is good!
All:
There is good, there is good
There is untapped good!
Like inside, the worst of us is good!
Mouthpiece:
Aw, that’s a touchin’ good story
Diesel:
Let me tell it to the world!
Mouthpiece:
Just tell it to the Judge!
Diesel:
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won’t give me a puff
They didn’t wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin’ lizards!
That’s why I’m so bad!
Balkan:
Right!
Officer Krupke, you’re really a square
This boy don’t need a judge, he needs an analyst’s care!
It’s just his neurosis that oughta be curbed
He’s psychologically disturbed!
Diesel:
I’m disturbed!
All:
We’re disturbed, we’re disturbed
We’re the most disturbed
Like we’re psychologically disturbed
Balkan:
Hear ye, Her ye!
In the opinion of this court
The boy is depraved
On account of he ain’t had a normal home!
Diesel:
Hey, I’m depraved on account I’m deprived!
Balkan:
So take this nut to a headshrinker!
Diesel:
My father is a bastard!
My ma's an S.O.B!
My grandpa's always plastered!
My grandma pushes tea!
My sister wears a mustache!
My brother wears a dress!
Goodness gracious!
That's why I'm a mess!
A-Rab:
Yes!
Officer Krupke, you're really a slob
This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job
Society's played him a terrible trick
And sociologically he's sick!
Diesel:
I am sick!
All:
We are sick, we are sick
We are sick sick sick
Like we’re sociologically sick!
A-Rab:
In my professional opinion, what we got here is a run-of-the-mill juvenile delinquent
And juvenile delinquency is a social disease!
Balkan:
Eeeuw Diesel, you got a social disease!
A-Rab:
Bring him to a social worker!
Mouthpiece:
Can I catch it by touchin’ him?
Diesel:
Dear...
Snowboy:
Kindly social worker
They say go earn a buck
Like be a soda jerker
Which means I'd be a schmuck
It's not I'm anti-social
I'm only anti-work!
Diesel and Snowboy:
Glory
Osky!
All:
That's why I'm a jerk!
Big Deal:
Officer Krupke, you’ve done it again
This boy don’t need a job, he needs a year in the pen
It ain’t just a question of misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, he’s no good!
Baby John:
I’m no good!
All:
We’re no good, we’re no good
We’re no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good!
Mouthpiece:
The trouble is he’s crazy
Balkan:
The trouble is he drinks
A-Rab:
The trouble is he’s lazy
Big Deal:
The trouble is he stinks
Snowboy:
The trouble is he’s growing
Baby John:
The trouble is he’s grown!
All:
Krupke, we got troubles of our own!
Gee, Officer Krupke
We’re down on our knees
Diesel:
‘Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease
