Hercules substitutes as narrator, telling of how someone has been stealing from the River Lethe in the Underworld, and Hades wants Pain and Panic to get the water back. Meanwhile, the sons of Ares, Fear and Terror, have been punished for overfeeding their war dogs, and can't go to an Orpheus concert.
Hercules meets Megara, a girl who says that her grandmother's Aetolian amphora has been stolen. Hercules, attracted to her, gladly helps, but when they reach the centaur who's been holding it, he tells them that he sold it to Fear and Terror (who plan to use the water to make Ares forget he punished them). Hercules and Meg go to the Temple of Ares and get the amphora back, but while Hercules tries to hold off Ares' sons, Meg ditches him with the amphora. She is kidnapped by Pain and Panic, and Hercules finishes his story.
A lady he's been telling his story to tells him about Meg's capture and despite her betrayal, he goes after Meg, and Fear and Terror follow him. A fight ensues for the amphora, and Meg tells Hercules that she liked him from the beginning. They almost kiss, until Pain and Panic accidentally spill the water from the amphora on them. Forgetting how they met each other, they go their separate ways.
- Tate Donovan as Hercules
- Susan Egan as Megara
- David Cross as Fear
- Toby Russ as Terror
- Bobcat Goldthwait as Pain
- Matt Frewer as Panic
- James Woods as Hades
- Sandra Bernhard as Cassandra
- Diedrich Bader as Adonis
- Jay Thomas as Ares
- Roz Ryan as Thalia
- Robert Stack as Bob the Narrator
- This episode is notable for being one of the few rare appearances of Megara in the television series with her only other appearence in "Hercules and the Yearbook".
- Megara's line "Are you always this articulate?" is a reference her line when Hercules tries to introduces himself in the film.
- Hercules narrates the episode as a mystery film noir.