"How to Grow a Rubber Chicken Tree" is a song from the 2018 reboot of Muppet Babies. It is featured in the episode, "Bunsen Knows All". Dr. Bunsen Honeydew explains to the Muppets how rubber chicken trees are grown.
Bunsen: So you'd like to grow a rubber chicken tree?
Well, friends, I have good news.
I studied this extensively in rubber chicken school.
Fozzie: Ooh, that's fancy-schmancy!
Bunsen: First, find the spot in the sandbox that's exactly in the middle,
Then dance a goofy dance on it to tenderize the soil.
Grab the shiniest of shovels, everybody gather round,
Because this is definitely something I know everything about.
Now, take one tiny scoop of sand and pass the shovel to your friend
Digging holes all by oneself is something I don't recommend
Drop the egg inside the hole, and to be sure it won't escape
Shovel all that sand back in there at an expedited rate
Bunsen: That means quickly.
Bunsen: Now, squeeze some little droplets from an extra dirty sponge
Rubber chicken trees like water with a little bit of grunge
Dry the sand with a towel, smooth it with a rake, and then wait
Bunsen: And after 97 seconds, plus or minus two or three
Up from the ground will start to sprout a most majestic sort of tree
And once you lay your eyes upon it, will there be any doubt
That this is absolutely
Bunsen and Fozzie: Positively, definitely, resolutely, definitely something I know (he knows) everything about
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