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"Humans" is a song from The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars. It is performed during the campaign between Toaster and the Supreme Commander as they argue over whether humans are good or not. The song is mainly sung by them with Tinselina, Kirby, Lampy, Radio, and the Wonder Luxe Appliances joining in sometimes.


Supreme Commander: Let the campaign begin!

My platform has only one plank
Humans stink and they always stank!
Toaster: Then, my platform has one plank too
Without humans, there'd be no you!

Freezer, Refrigerator: Aaah!

Supreme Commander: They created us...
So they could destroy us!
Toaster: But if they hated us...
Why would they employ us?

Supreme Commander: They're wasteful, distasteful and mean!
Toaster: Hey! Kindest creatures I've ever seen!

Appliances: Couth or uncouth
Stove, Washer: It surely is a riddle
Washer, Mixer: Is a human a friend or foe?
Mixer, Freezer: Probably the truth
Washer: Lies somewhere in the middle
Lampy, Radio, Kirby: Closer to good
Mixer, Freezer: Closer to bad
Tinselina: Depending on who you know!

Supreme Commander: The power is in the wrong hands
Time that we make our OWN demands!
Toaster: But power's a weak person's crutch
What we need, is a human touch

Supreme Commander: We're not falling for...
Mindless adoration!
Toaster: I'm just calling for...
Real cooperation!

Supreme Commander: With humans who cheat!
Toaster: Who smile
Supreme Commander: Who overeat!
Toaster: They give you caresses
Supreme Commander: They fight and make messes!

Toaster: They struggle and toil
Supreme Commander: They smell like a camel
Toaster: They're thrifty and loyal
Supreme Commander: They scratch your enamel!
Toaster: A human...
Is a gem!
Supreme Commander: You sound like...like...like...
One of them!

It's humans who twist and distort!
Toaster: Does he seem like the evil sort?

Appliances: Clear or unclear
We haven't much to go on
Is a human a beast, or not?
Iron, Clock: Everyone here
Would like to get the show on
Appliances (variously): Do we believe him?
Do we believe him?
Tinselina: Let's hear from the little tot!

Robbie: [giggles] Nice!
Appliances: Nice?!

Supreme Commander: Don't fall for this goody-good fluff!
Nice is nice, but it's human stuff!
Toaster: Appliances, let us unite!
Nice is nice, and what's more, it's...right!

Supreme Commander: Fight...
Toaster: Right!
Everyone: Fight...

v - e - d
The brave little toaster logo.png
The Brave Little Toaster (video) • The Brave Little Toaster Goes to MarsThe Brave Little Toaster to the Rescue
Appliances: ToasterBlankyLampyRadioKirbyAir ConditionerT.V.Hanging LampJunkshop AppliancesBlenderCutting-Edge AppliancesPlugsyGiant MagnetCrusherJunkyard CarsComputer and MouseWittgensteinLab ComputerModemMicrowaveFaucetSquirtFannyCalculatorHearing AidViking 1Wonder Luxe AppliancesSupreme Commander

Humans: Rob McGroartyChris McGroartyRobbie McGroartyEvil ClownElmo St. PetersZekeErnieCharlieMack McCroJim BobAlbert Einstein
Animals: QuadrupedRatsoMaisieAlbertoMurgatroidSebastianDobermans
Other: TinselinaThe MissileViruses

April ShowersTutti FruttiCity of LightMy MammyIt's a 'B' MovieCutting EdgeWorthlessI'm Into Something GoodRemember That DayCocktails for TwoSuper HighwayChomp and MunchHang in There, KidBread and ButterI See a New YouFloatingHumansHome Again
CaliforniaCottageErnie's DisposalMarsWashington