"I, Ivan Krank" is a song from the 2004 film, Teacher's Pet: The Movie, sung by Ivan Krank as he tells Leonard and Spot about who he is while getting his experiment ready.

The song was performed by Kelsey Grammer as Ivan Krank


I was born with a brain,

That could not be contained

So they tourchered and teased me,

And called me insane

It was bad, very bad,

Even mom called me mad!

Any child would go wild from the pain!

Crazed with rage and defiance,

I turned my cerebelum to science

I tinkered and toiled,

My beakers all boiled,

And I built this amazing appliance!

Now the whole world will see the genius in me,

As I stand on the shoulders of giants!

I am I, Ivan Krank

Just a man way ahead of his time

Allow me to be frank

I'm much hipper than old Dr. Frankenstein

And I, Ivan Krank,

And you may call me wacko or weird

But you'll have me to thank,

With this pup that you neared

No longer wet-nosed, waggy tail or dog eared,

He'll be human, like you, man, the world will all cheer

For the genius, which is I, Ivan Krank!

v - e - d
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Teacher's Pet(Episode List)Teacher's Pet: The Movie
Leonard HelpermanSpot Helperman/Scott Leadready IIMary HelpermanCrosby StricklerLeslie DunklingPretty BoyMr. JollyIan WazselewskiTyler, Trevor, and TaylorChelsey and KelseyYounghee MandlebomTallulahRuthDr. Ivan KrankDennis and AdeleMiss DewygoodEmma (Teacher's Pet)
"Muttamorphosis" • "Pet Project" • "Movin' on Pup" / "Escaping Dog Trick" • "A Lick is Still a Kiss" • "Being Mrs. Leadready" • "Let Sleeping-Over Dogs Lie" / "Costume Pity Party" • "Scott's Honor" • "Fifi" • "Bad to the Bone" / "Always Knock the Postman Twice" • "You Can't Bite City Hall" • "A Dog for All Seasons" • "Tallulahpalooza" • "Saving Mr. Jolly" / "Rule of Paw" • "Never Take Candy from a Kindergartner" • "A Few Good Boys" • "Bad Fur Day" • "The Tale of the Telltale Taffy" • "Don't Count Your Chickies Before They Hatch" • "No Substitutions, Please" • "Mr. Jolly: Man...or Mouser?" / "Party Animal" • "Taint Valentine's Day" • "Strickler's Pet" / "Fresh 'n' Frozey Chocolaccino" • "The Grass Seed is Always Greener..." • "Don't it Make My Brown Eyes Green" • "What's Sweat Got to Do with It?" • "Dogfight" • "Science Not Fair" • "To Bee or Not to Bee" • "One Dog's Junk" • "Team Scott" / "Take Me Out of the Ball Game" • "Inspector Leadready II" • "The Turkey That Came to Dinner • "Double Dog Dare" • "Attack of the 50 Inch Girl" • "The Flipper" • "The Blight Before Christmas" • "All About Eavesdropping" • "The Nose Knows" / "Don't Bite the Hound That Feeds You" • "A Breed Apart"
I, Ivan KrankSmall But MightyA Whole Bunch of WorldTake the Money and RunI Wanna Be a BoyI'm Moving OnProud to Be a DogA Boy Needs a Dog
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