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"Interrogation Song" is a song from the 2014 film, Muppets Most Wanted performed by Sam the Eagle and Jean Pierre Napoleon (Ty Burrell) with The Muppets. According to Bret McKenzie, "it's a conversation put to music, and actually started out as dialogue from the film." Gonzo's testimony, as well as several other little pieces of the song, are absent in the theatrical release, but reinstated in the extended version.

Lyrics

Italics indicate lyrics only on the album version and the extended version of the movie.

Sam:
Kermit, let's begin
Describe the day you played Berlin

Constantine (pretending to be Kermit):
We rehearsed and then we walked about
We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut

Jean Pierre:
That night, at 10:03
Were you inside the portrait gallery?

Constantine:
From 10:00 till 10:04
Was when we did the show's encore

Sam:
Hm, frog, we've got our doubts
Can you confirm your whereabouts?

Constantine:
My alibi is watertight
The audience saw me sing all night

Jean Pierre:
Monsieur, we know you did the crime

Constantine:
I was onstage that whole time
Ask who sang Rainbow Connection.

Sam and Jean Pierre:
Thank you, Kermit! No more questions!

Jean Pierre (spoken):
Hello! I think it's time for good cop/romantic cop.
Miss Piggy, you could end up locked inside
Now's your chance to save your hide

Miss Piggy:
Oh, gentlemen, I did not know
It's a crime to steal the show

Sam:
Tell us how the art was taken

Jean Pierre:
If you want to save your bacon

Miss Piggy:
I haven't seen your missing art
All I've stolen was audience hearts

Sam:
We can give you a plea deal

Jean Pierre:
All you have to do is squeal

Miss Piggy:
I'm not a thief, I don't know how
All I've ever taken is a bow

Jean Pierre:
We'll catch the swine that did this job

Miss Piggy:
Give up the pig puns, creep!
Go jump in a lake, that's my suggestion!

Sam and Jean Pierre:
Thank you, Piggy! No more questions!

Jean Pierre (spoken):
I think she likes me, huh?

Sam (spoken):
I don't think your puns are helping the investigation.

Jean Pierre:
You know, I think they did it

Sam:
No, they didn't!

Jean Pierre:
Yes, they did, and we can pin it

Sam:
If they did, how did they do it?

Jean Pierre:
If they didn't, how did they didn't?

Sam:
If they didn't, then it's easy
'Cause they simply didn't do it

Jean Pierre:
If they did it, then I knew it
But we've nothing that can prove it!

(spoken):
Ahem. Oh, excuse me. Bring in the purple guy with the schnoz.

Sam:
Do you remember what you did
On the night you played Madrid?

Gonzo:
I was hit by a raging bull
And rushed off-stage to the hospital

Jean Pierre:
Gonzo, what do you know
About the sculpture theft at Madrid's Prado?

Gonzo:
I never saw the stolen busts
I spent the night in bed concussed

Sam:
The truth, Gonzo, the clock is ticking

Gonzo:
If you don't believe me, ask the chicken
Camilla was there, she'll cooperate

Jean Pierre:
Madam, are you willing to corroborate?

Camilla:
(clucking)

Sam:
(spoken)
Will somebody get this chicken out of here?

Gonzo:
Calm down, Camilla, it's a routine inspection

Sam and Jean Pierre:
Thank you, Gonzo! No more questions!

Jean Pierre:
Let's go from the start
What do you know about the stolen art?

Lew Zealand:
I didn't know there was a plan

Dr. Teeth:
Your accusation's far out, man!

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew:
The chances of us committing a crime
Are less than .009

The Swedish Chef:
(Faux-Swedish)

Jean Pierre:
To help with our investigation
Can you do a full translation?

Translator/Beaker:
What the chef just said to you was "Shnoopdy-shnoopdy-shnoo." It's not Swedish.

Animal:
(grunts and laughs)

Penguins:
(quacking)

Fozzie Bear:
(spoken) Uh, I can do an Elvis impression.

Sam and Jean Pierre:
Thank you, Muppets! No more questions!

Jean Pierre:
They didn't

Sam:
No, they didn't

Jean Pierre:
There's no way they did the crime

Sam:
They couldn't, they're too stupid

Jean Pierre:
They're not criminal masterminds

Sam:
 We do not know who did it
But we know who didn't do it

Jean Pierre and Sam:
So we know who didn't do it
Yes, we know who didn't do it!

Jean Pierre (spoken):
They're incapable of being culpable.


v - e - d
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Media
Television shows: The Muppet ShowJim Henson's Muppet BabiesLittle Muppet MonstersMuppeTelevisionMuppets TonightThe MuppetsMuppet BabiesMuppets Now

Television specials: Hey Cinderella!The Frog PrinceThe Muppet Musicians of BremenThe Muppets Go to the MoviesThe Fantastic Miss Piggy ShowThe Muppets: A Celebration of 30 YearsThe Tale of the Bunny PicnicA Muppet Family ChristmasThe Muppets at Walt Disney WorldThe Muppets Celebrate Jim HensonMr. Willowby's Christmas TreeStudio DC: Almost LiveA Muppets Christmas: Letters to SantaGood Luck CharlieMuppets Haunted Mansion
Movies: The Muppet MovieThe Great Muppet CaperThe Muppet Christmas CarolMuppet Treasure IslandThe Muppets' Wizard of OzThe MuppetsMuppets Most WantedMuppet Man
Video games: My Muppets ShowAnimal DrummerTap Tap MuppetsDisney Emoji Blitz Disney Heroes: Battle Mode

Disney Parks
Muppets CourtyardMidship Detective AgencyMuppet*Vision 3D

Entertainment: Here Come the MuppetsHollywood's Pretty WomanMuppet Mobile LabMuppets on Location: Days of Swine and RosesThe Muppets Present… Great Moments in American History
Restaurants: PizzeRizzoThe Great Gonzo's Pandemonium Pizza ParlorRegal Eagle Smokehouse
Shops: Stage 1 Company Store
Parade: Disney Stars and Motor Cars Parade

Characters
Muppets: Kermit the FrogMiss PiggyFozzie BearGonzoAnimalRizzo the RatPepe the King PrawnStatler and WaldorfDr. Bunsen HoneydewBeakerScooterBean BunnyDr. TeethFloyd PepperJaniceZootRowlf the DogRobin the FrogThe Swedish ChefSam the EagleSweetumsBobo the BearPopsUncle DeadlyCamillaWaldo C. GraphicWalterClifford80's RobotThogSeymourLew ZealandLink HogthrobBeauregardMahna MahnaThe MoopetsConstantineDeniseSummer Penguin

Humans: MaxDoc HopperSnake WalkerProfessor KrassmanBernie the AgentLew LordGaryMaryDominic BadguyNadyaJean Pierre NapoleonLady HolidayMike TarkenianNevilleDorcasNicky HolidayHendersonStanleyMarla, Carla, and Darla

Vehicles
The Electric Mayhem BusLe Maximum
Songs
The Muppet Movie: The Rainbow ConnectionMovin' Right AlongNever Before, Never AgainI Hope That Somethin' Better Comes AlongCan You Picture That?I'm Going to Go Back There SomedayAmerica

The Great Muppet Caper: Hey a Movie!Happiness HotelSteppin' Out With a StarNight LifeThe First Time It HappensCouldn't We Ride
The Muppet Christmas Carol: ScroogeRoom in Your HeartGood King WenceslasOne More Sleep 'til ChristmasMarley and MarleyChairman of the BoardFozziwig's PartyWhen Love is GoneIt Feels Like ChristmasChristmas ScatBless Us AllThankful HeartWhen Love Is Found
Muppet Treasure Island: Treasure IslandShiver My TimbersSomething BetterSailing for AdventureCabin FeverBoom ShakalakaLove Led Us HereLove PowerLove Led Us Here
Muppet Treasure Island (Sing-Alongs): I'm a Little PirateThere Was an Old PirateOld Bad PollyI'm a RockTruffle ShuffleReal PirateLet the Good Shine Out
The Muppets' Wizard of Oz: KansasWhen I'm With YouNap TimeThe Witch Is in the HouseCalling All MunchkinsGood Life
A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa: Delivering ChristmasIt's All About HeartI Wish I Could Be Santa ClausMy Best Christmas Yet
The Muppets: The Muppet Show ThemeLife's a Happy SongPictures in My HeadMe and Julio Down by the SchoolyardWe Built This CityMe PartyLet's Talk About MeMan or MuppetSmells Like Teen SpiritForget YouThe Whistling Caruso
Muppets Most Wanted: The Muppet Show ThemeWe're Doing a SequelI'm Number OneThe Big HouseI'll Get You What You Want (Cockatoo in Malibu)Interrogation SongMy Heart Will Go OnSomething So RightWorking in the Coal MineTogether AgainMoves Like JaggerMacarena
Muppet Babies: Muppet Babies Theme

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