After Mother Superior enacts a fast, the nuns share with Mary Clarence (Deloris) what they like about being nuns which only mortifies Deloris even more.
Lyrics[]
(Spoken) Mary Patrick: Mary Clarence, what's your favorite part of being a nun?
Deloris: Well, I Um..
Mary Patrick: Come on! There's so much to choose from!
(Sung)
The joy of waking up at four A.M, right on the dot
The thrill of meditating all day long in just one knot
Mary Lazarus: Or how 'bout reading scripture
'Til your eyes begin to glaze
Mary Patrick: Or basking in the magic
of your favorite Latin phrase
Mary Lazarus: The peace when you surrender all your pride
Mary Patrick: Your name
Mary Lazarus: Your gender
Mary Patrick: Consuming holy wafers by the ton
It's bracing
Mary Lazarus: It's a tonic!
Mary Patrick: It's a moral high colonic
Mary Patrick/Mary Lazarus: Praise the Lord!
It's goof to be a nun
Mary Martin-of-Tours/Nun 9: It's grim and un relenting,
But for those who love repenting
Deloris: Praise the Lord!
Nuns: It's good to be a nun
Nun 8: [no no no you forgot the best part]
Mary Lazarus: [Yeah?]
Nun 8: [Yeah]
There nothing like the rush
Of doing chores for Christ our Lord
Nun 7: Renouncing all possessions
Is of course it's own reward
Nun 6: And how about confessing
For an hour?
Nun 8: Two!
Nun 7: No, three!
Nun 10: Or teaching little children
How to keep their palms hair-free?
Nun 2: I love the sweet sensation
Of extreme self flagellation
Nun 3: And genuflecting always pretty fun
Nuns: And we didn't even mention
All the sexual abstention
Deloris: Praise the what?
Nuns: It's good to be a nun.
Mary Lazarus: And hey, that's just for starters
Nuns: All the lucky girls are martyrs
Hallelu! It's good to be a nun
Nun 1: Sacrifice
Nun 5: Humility
Nun 9: Obedience
Nun 1/Nun 5/Nun 9: Hooray!
Nun 1: Poverty
Nun 5: Seclusion
Nun 9: That's the best
Nun 1: Oh, yes
Nun 5: Indeed
Nun 1/Nun 5/Nun 9: Amen
Nun 4: And should Heaven will it, even misery okay
Mary Lazarus: Only when you're miserable
Can you feel truly blessed
Mary Patrick: [So, the spotlight's back you, Sister. Your turn.]
Deloris: [Right, okay. My favorite part of being a nun.]
The whole no men with guns thing--
I mean no men, that's great
That's tough to beat
We eat
Thank God I'm gonna lose some weight
Costume disguise habit
Gotta say, Woohoh
And two big thumbs up
For keeping out of public view
You girls seem pretty sweet
As for the rent it can't be beat
And hey, not being dead
That's always number one
Plus no one's gonna guess
I've gone commando 'neath this dress
Christ, you're right
All: It's good to be a nun
Mary Patrick: Ha-ha-ha-ha
Nuns: The strictness
Mary Lazarus/Mary Patrick/Nuns: The compunction
Nuns: The extremeness of the unction
Mary Lazarus/Mary Patrick/Nuns: No, the praying
Nuns: No, the kneeling
Mary Lazarus/Mary Patrick/Nuns: No, that fresh just-baptized feeling
Nuns: No, the sackcloth
Mary Lazarus/Mary Patrick: No, the ashes
Mary Martin-of-Tours: No, our little mou--moustaches
Deloris: Jesus freakin Christ, what have I done?
[I mean, yay!]
Mary Lazarus: One thing's very clear
Mary Patrick: We're gosh-darn lucky to be here
Mary Lazarus/Mary Patrick: What's more our path to Heaven's just begun
Deloris: [Kill me, now.]
Mary Theresa: [Patience, sister.]
Nuns: Yes, the world's our oyster
When you're locked inside a cloister
Hallelu, it's good to be a-
Praise the Lord, it's good to be a-
Glory be, it's good to be a nun
Amen!
