(Sebastian enters the kitchen, witnesses the dead fish, examines the sharp knives, and gasps)
(Chef Louis enters the kitchen)
Les Champs-Élysées, Maurice Chevalier
Les poissons, les poissons
How I love les poissons!
Love to chop
And to serve little fish.
(*Chop, chop, chop!*)
First I cut off their heads
Then I pull out their bones.
Ah mais oui, ça c'est toujours délice.
Les poissons, les poissons
With a cleaver I hack them in two.
(Sebastian examines a dead fish's head and gasps)
I pull out what's inside
And I serve it up fried.
God, I love little fishes, don't you?
(Louis adds cooked fish to a platter)
Here's something for tempting the palate
Prepared in the classic technique.
First you pound the fish flat with a mallet.
(Louis pounds the table hard)
Then you slash off their skin.
Give their belly a slice.
Then you rub some salt in
'Cause that makes it taste nice.
(Louis removes a leaf from the counter and finds Sebastian hiding underneath)
(Spoken) Zut alors ! I have missed one!
(Louis picks up Sebastian)
Sacrebleu ! What is this?
How on earth could I miss
Such a sweet little succulent crab?
Quel dommage, what a loss!
Here we go in the sauce.
Now some flour-I think just a dab.
Now I stuff you with bread.
It don't hurt, 'cause you're dead
And you're certainly lucky you are.
(Sebastian spits out the stuffed crab filling)
'Cause it's gonna be hot
In my big silver pot
Tootle-loo, mon poisson, au revoir!
Ah, ze crab!
I'll give you a demonstration,
of my special preparation!
First you nap ze crab!
Zen you grab ze crab!
Zen you STAB ze crab!
Petit Fish (3x)
Set zem out on a dish,
Rip zair skin with a knife,
chop zair huh?
At this point Chef Louis finds Sebastian and starts singing a new song.
C'est si bon!
Zis is nice!
In ze sauce wiz ze spice!
And now something truly exquisite
The creme of the creme de la creme!
Ho, ho, ho you may ask, but what is it?
It's a teensy surprise
A delectable treat
One I'm sure you'll just love.
Allez, bon appetit!
Les Poissons, Les Poissons!
Ooh la, la!
Here they are!
Say bonjour to our friends from the sea!
Chef 1: Fish fillet!
Chef 2: Fish pate!
Chef 3: Fish flambe!
Chef 4: Fish tartare!
Louis: It's a fish-how you say?-jamboree!
Chef 5: Curried bass!
Chef 6: Kippered smelt!
Chef 7: Fish-ka-bobs!
Chef 8: Tuna melt!
Louis: If it's grilled, its been grilled to a "t"!
Fish lightly toasted and roasted and steamed!
Tossed in the blender and tenderly creamed
Dish after dish like you'd wish to have dreamed!
And now for the grand finale
La piece de resistance
A delicacy, by golly
You won't find in the restaurants!
A tidbit to tease your taste buds
With that certain je ne sais quois
- "Les poissons" means "the fish(es)" in French and is plural for "le poisson".
- The song is referenced on the menu in the Be Our Guest scene of the 2017 version of Beauty and the Beast.
- The reprise version was created for the Broadway musical version.
- The phrase "mais oui, ça c'est toujours délice", while semi-obvious in meaning, translates "but yes, that's always delicious" in English.
- "Shiny" from Moana is basically "Les Poissons" in reverse with Tamatoa trying to eat Moana and Maui. Lin-Manuel Miranda even jokingly calls the song "Sebastian's Revenge".