"Practically Perfect" is a deleted song from the film Mary Poppins. It was to share the same tune as Sister Suffragette.
It was revived with new music and lyrics by George Stiles and Anthony Drewe for the stage adaptation in 2004. Here, Mary Poppins describes herself and her goal to shape Jane and Michael into better people as well. It is reprised in the second act.
Lyrics from the Broadway Musical[]
Mary Poppins: By the time the wind has blown
The weather vane around
I’ll show you, if I can
No matter what the circumstance
For one thing I’m renown
My character is spit-spot spick and span
I’m practically perfect
In every way
Jane: Practically perfect?
Mary Poppins: So people say
Each virtue virtually knows no bound
Each trait is great and patently sound
I’m practically perfect from head to toe
If I had a fault it would never dare to show
I’m so practically perfect
In every way
Both prim and proper and never too stern
Well-educated yet willing to learn
I’m clean and honest, my manner refined
And I wear shoes of the sensible kind
I suffer no nonsense and whilst I remain
There’s nothing else I feel I need explain
I’m practically perfect in every way
Practically perfect, that’s my forte
Uncanny nannies are hard to find
Unique, yet meek, unspeakably kind
I'm practically perfect not slightly soiled
Running like an engine, that's just been freshly oiled,
I'm so practically perfect in every way,
(Spoken)
Well those are my credentials,
Perhaps you have a few questions?
(Sung)
Michael: Not Temperamental?
Mary Poppins: Never
Michael: Not Grouchy or Gruff?
Mary Poppins: Oh, the very thought,
Jane: Will you stay tender when the going gets tough?
Mary Poppins: Quite the contrary,
Michael: Do you read stories without a big fuss?
Mary Poppins: Umm Hmm,
Jane: Or have objections to playing with us?
Mary Poppins: Oh, I like games, but I choose them
Some minor improvements may not go a miss
But at all times you must remember this
Jane, Michael: You're practically perfect in every way,
Mary Poppins: I guarantee,
Jane, Michael: Practically perfect we hope you'll stay,
Mary Poppins: No Flies on me,
Each virtue virtually knows no bound,
Each trait is great,
Jane, Michael: And patently sound,
Mary Poppins: Patently sound,
Spit spot,
La da da dee,
La da da daa,
La da da daa,
Da da da daa,
Da da da da da daa,
(Spoken)
Jane, put your toys away please,
Jane: Do I have to?
Mary Poppins: Yes,
Michael tidy your things,
Michael: It's not fair!
Mary Poppins: I didn't say I was fair, I said,
(Sung)
I'm practically perfect and here's my aim,
By the time I leave here you both will be the same,
You'll be practically perfect
Jane, Michael: Practically perfect
All: You/we will be practically perfect in every way.
Jane, Michael: You're practically perfect in every way
Mary Poppins: I guarantee
Jane, Michael: Practically perfect
We hope you'll stay
Mary Poppins:' Let's wait and see
Mary Poppins, Jane, Michael: Uncanny nannies are hard to find
Mary Poppins: Unique yet meek
Unspeakably kind
Jane, Michael: You're practically perfect
Mary Poppins: And yet I'm sure
There's still room for improvement
A few games more...
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