- “Mike: "NOW PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM, OR SO HELP ME---! Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical. Put that thing back where it came from or so help me..."
Sulley: "Bom, bom, bom, bom..."
Mike: "So help me! So help me! And cut. We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers."” - “Mike Wazowski, explaining why he was yelling”
- ―{{{3}}}
"Put That Thing Back Where It Came From or So Help Me" was originally a fake play invented on the spot by Mike Wazowski as he and Sulley were attempting to return Boo, a human girl, back to her room and were nearly caught by other members of the company. It was later turned into a real play that was performed at Monsters, Inc. at the end of the film.
Lyrics
Mike: Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!
Get that thing away from me, you guys!
Put that thing back where it came from
Or I'll poke myself in the eye!
Mike: Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!
(So help me!) So help me get by!
Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!
(So help me!) I just gotta cry!
Baby Smitty as Boo: Boo!
Mike: There's a child, there's a child, there's a human child!
Running 'round the restaurant, this is really wild!
What in heaven's name will become of us
We who are living in Monstropolis?
Needleman as Randall: Alright, Wazowski, tell us where the kid is!
Mike: I will never talk! NEVER!
She's out of our hair
And just when I dare to care
She says "Au contraire
You're my pair
Of friends... I love you."
Cast Members: And so we put that kid back where she came from
And she helped us to find a better tomorrow, today!
Cast members and their roles
- Mike Wazowski: Himself, Star, Writer, Director, Producer
- James P. Sullivan: Himself, Co-Star
- Celia Mae: Herself
- Bile: The Sushi Chef
- George Sanderson: Himself
- Needleman and Smitty: Randall and Fungus
- Waxford: Henry J. Waternoose
- Baby Smitty: "Boo" the human child
- Ms. Nesbit: Piano player
Song List
The program featured on the DVD release of the film features a full Act breakdown of the show. Bolded titles are the tracks featured in the film's "highlights" of the performance.
Act I
- Overture - Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me
- C'mon, Get Up, Get Scaring
- I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Kid's Scream
- The Goldenrod Goes to Roz/So This Is Puce
- I Only Have Eye For You
- There's a Child! There's a Child!
- (She's A) Killing Machine (love theme)
- PANIC!
- Too Many Spoons
- Nothing in the Closet But Me
- Dress Her Up, Sneak Her In, Ship Her Out
Act II
- Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me
- Never Gonna Tell - (lead-in shown)
- Hallways, Hallways, Too Many Hallways
- She's Out Of Our Hair
- The Coldest Door
- Doors All Over The World
- (No One To Call Me) Kitty
- Hooray for Number One
- The World Laughs With You
- A Better Tomorrow Today
Trivia
- When Mike is explaining "Put That Thing Back Where It Came From or So Help Me", different audio takes are used between the scene in the film and its appearance in the credits.
- A complete program for the play can be found on the original two-disc DVD release of the film.
- Mike briefly sings a variant of the song in Kingdom Hearts III. This version is instead, "Gotta send her home right now, or so help me!"
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