|“||Oh great, now I'm in the middle of nowhere, now I'll never be able to take over the Tri-State Area before... the play!||”|
— Heinz Doofenshmirtz
"Road to Danville" is an episode of Phineas and Ferb.
Phineas and the gang have decided, as their big project, to make a quilt. Buford thinks they run out of ideas and Isabella tells him that he doesn't have to be with them everyday. Buford quickly objects since he doesn't want turn into a "cat-kid" and won't play alone. He then ask who can say "Where's Perry?"; Baljeet obliges. At Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Perry arrives and notices Doofenshmirtz finishing his newest inator. Perry realizes that there aren't any traps for him. Doofensmirtz tells Agent P that he has no time for the traps because he has a role in a L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. play. Doofenshmirtz, then introduces his Trip-to-the-Desert-inator. He turns it on, but Agent P kicks it, causing it to turn around and face both of them, then fires. They are transported to a desert, with Doofenshmirtz suddenly realizing that he will miss the play in time and pleads with Perry to bring him there with his jetpack adding that he might give up evil for acting.
Perry and Doofenshmirtz use the jetpack to return to Danville, but Doofenshmirtz sees they are moving slowly and wants to go faster. Doofenshmirtz activates the turbo mode, which causes the jetpack to launch out of control and eject them. Perry points at Doofenshmirtz to show that he's responsible for what happened, with Doofenshmirtz replying that he can't blame him for his habit, forcing both of them to walk. Doofenshmirtz tells Perry he should have trapped him, and will not be able to get to the theater in time, upset that his understudy will replace him, which is revealed to be Rodney, who laughs maniacally.
While walking in the desert, Doofenshmirtz comments how hot and warm the desert is and wonders why they always see a cow skull without the rest of the body. Perry continues walking since Doofenshmirtz's talking annoys him, with Doofenshmirtz telling Perry that he'll be quiet, despite talking loudly to him. They later continue walking while Doofenshmirtz is still talking about the phrase "mark my words", seeing the sun in a magnifying glass, a lady using a taxi and moving to Vegas, and wonders if, when iguanas lose their limbs, if they get replaced by titanium ones. He then states that Perry doesn't communicate with him, and adds that he never wants to touch an iguana again (before admitting that wasn't true).
They later reach a junkyard; Doofenshmirtz sees some parts that will help them get out from the desert, but Perry refuses to help since there is a "No Trespassing" sign. Doofenshmirtz then realizes that the reason he always fails wasn't because of his parents not showing up for his birth, or his acting as an organ player monkey for 8 months or his arms getting stuck in a boulder and being replaced by titanium ones; he tells Perry that he is to blame for his faulures. However, Perry moves his finger and points back at him, to indicate that he should blame himself for his failures. Doofenshmirtz replies that he's not to blame, and tries to prove it by going inside the junkyard without any help from Perry, who eventually lets Doofenshmirtz go through with his plan. Doofenshmirtz climbs up into the junkyard, but is electrocuted by an electric fence, trips some bear traps and is attacked by guard dogs.
As they walk down the road, Doofenshmirtz comments that he tried to make it back to Danville, but Perry wouldn't help him, or give him a glass of water. He decides to go it alone and doesn't want to see Perry anymore, covering his eyes and counting to three and wishing that he was gone. When he open his eyes, Perry was nowhere in sight, so Doof continues to walk down the road to find a bus station on his own. A few seconds later, Perry returns with a glass of water for him, only to find him gone.
Doofenshmirtz crawls in the road from exhaustion from the sun and finally sees a bus stop that goes to Danville. When the bus driver asks him where his ticket is, Doofenshmirtz tells him that he doesn't have any money and was tired and thirsty. He also admits that it was his own fault that they were in the desert and that he was a failure, then starts crying. Perry arrives and gives Doofenshmirtz two bus tickets to show that he appreciates him for what he did, despite Doof being unpleasant to him (with Doof managing to keep the save the tears he had previously shed). They are about to get on the bus, when the bus driver rejects Perry, since no animals are allowed. Doofenshmirtz leaves Perry at the bus station, commenting how happy he is that the bus was air-conditioned.
As Doofenshmirtz rides the bus, his conscience starts to get to him for leaving Perry behind after everything that had happened to them, and he stops the bus at the fiber-glass dinosaur figures and finds the jetpack from earlier. Perry continues to walk down the road, getting exhausted, until he sees Doofenshmirtz with the jetpack; Doofenshmirtz picks Perry up, and they head straight back to Danville.
Meanwhile, Rodney is happy that Doofenshmirtz was gone, so he can replace him in the play, which is about to begin. Doofenshmirtz and Perry finally reach Danville; Doofenshmirtz tells Perry that they're not going to make it to the play. Perry straps him in with more safety belts and prepares to use the turbo mode, giving Doofenshmirtz a "trust me" gesture beforehand. As they activate the turbo mode, they quickly arrive and crash into the play, knocking Rodney and the actress off of the stage and Doofenshmirtz delivers his line: "Pizza Delivery", with the audience praising him for the spectacular entrance. Doofenshmirtz thanks Perry for what he did, but Perry moves his finger again and points it towards him, causing Doofenshmirtz to use the tear he'd saved earlier. Back at the backyard, Buford tells them that quilt was more fun than he thought. As Buford leaves, Ferb comments that what they did wasn't exciting after all and the rest of the kids agree, vowing to never do it again.
- Vincent Martella as Phineas (half role)
- Thomas Sangster as Ferb (half role)
- Alyson Stoner as Isabella
- Dan Povenmire as Dr. Doofenshmirtz
- Dee Bradley Baker as Perry
- Joe Orrantia as Rodney
- Bobby Gaylor as Buford
- Maulik Pancholy as Baljeet
- Grey DeLisle as Lady on the bus
- Baljeet uses a contraction when he says "Where's Perry?", but in "Monster from the Id" he is afraid of them and Phineas and Ferb didn't cure his fear.
- When Doof says "Why do we always see cow skulls in the desert", Agent P's hat is a shade of black and blue. In the next scene, the shade is back to normal.
- Phineas and Ferb only appear in the beginning and the end of this episode. The rest is just Perry and Doofenshmirtz. Phineas also has just three lines.
- Linda and Lawrence do not appear in this episode.
- Buford breaks the fourth wall in the beginning of the episode.
- It is revealed that Doofenshmirtz has titanium arms, which would mean that he is a double amputee.
- The title parodies the long-running series of popular buddy comedies "Road to.." starring Bob Hope and Bing Crosby (Road to Morocco, Road to Singapore, etc.) Coincidentally, Dan Povenmire directed the first three episodes in a series of Family Guy episodes inspired (and titled) after the series.
- The name of the play that L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. is performing, The Pizza Man Cometh, is a play on The Iceman Cometh.
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