"Satisfaction Guaranteed" is a song from the film, Geppetto. It is sung by Professor Buonragazzo, his son, and the "perfect son" that they create.
Lyrics[]
Girl 1: I'll be papa's little princess,
I'll be mama's little pal.
For I love you both to pieces.
What you say to do, I shall.
I love cooking,
I love sewing,
Dusting when I get the chance,
But like every little blonde girl,
What I do the best is dance.
Professor Buonragazzo: Satisfaction guaranteed, satisfaction guaranteed.
See Professor Buonragazzo
For the better way to breed.
Buy an artificial child and you're certain to succeed
As a parent Guaranteed.
Boy 1: Can I be your little sonny,
Hug your leg and call you "pop"?
Can I be exactly like you,
And play catch until I drop?
Substitute Pinocchio: Could I be your new Pinocchio?
See? I look a little wooden.
But I'll never disobey you.
You're my papa, so, I could'un!
Group: Satisfaction guaranteed.
Have a child who pays you heed.
From a smart-mouthed kid with individuality you're freed.
Professor Buonragazzo: Feed him any fool opinion,
Teach him any crackpot creed.
Mothers & Buonragazzo: Doubt he daren't guaranteed!
Professor Buonragazzo: Why be settled with a daughter who's a whiner?
Must you suffer with a son who's a brat?
Group: No!
Group & Professor Buonragazzo: Bring him back for an adjustment.
It's quite minor.
Professor Buonragazzo: Turn the dial.
Wait a while.
Zap, and that is that.
Group: Zap, and that is that.
Professor Buonragazzo & Citizen: Satisfaction guaranteed, satisfaction guaranteed.
Citizens: If you purchase perfect prodigy
Professor Buonragazzo: And each one pedigreed.
Boy 2: I love painting walls and fences!
Girl 2: I love memorizing tenses!
Girl 3: I love knitting dad a sweater!
Girl 4: I'm a champion pirouetter!
Boy 3: I add fractions in my head!
Girl 5: Come and watch me make my bed!
Professor Buonragazzo & Children: And they do it all so cutely,
We can promise absolutely...
Satisfaction guaranteed, satisfaction guaranteed.
Have a child who will fulfill your every last parental need.
Junior: They say, build a better mousetrap.
Watch the customers stampede.
(Watch the customers stampede.)
(Watch the customers stampede.)
(Watch the customers stampede.)
Don't be shy now.
Professor Buonragazzo: If you buy now.
With the usual apparatus,
Just for you, we throw in gratis.
A set of steak knifes!
Chorus: Also satisfaction guaranteed!
Buonragazzo & Junior: By one and all agreed. It's satisfaction guaranteed!