Hoping to get back into the realm of dating, Jake enters a bachelor auction at his school. When two girls compete in bids for him (one girl pretty, and one sci-fi nerd) he rigs the event to have the pretty girl win. His skin-deep perception is criticized as Trixie, Spud, Grandpa and Fu Dog try to convince Jake that the girl is a siren bent on his destruction as he displays hypnotic behavior that leads him into increasingly dangerous situations. It's revealed that the pretty girl is a normal human and the other girl is the Siren, but Jake’s behavior ruins his relationship with the pretty girl while Trixie defeats the Siren.
- Its title is a play on "Simon Says".