Hoping to get back into the realm of dating, Jake enters a bachelor auction at his school. When two girls compete in bids for him (one pretty girl named Danika Hunnicutt, and one sci-fi nerd named Vicky Fickling) he rigs the event to have Danika win. His skin-deep perception is criticized as Trixie, Spud, Grandpa and Fu Dog try to convince Jake that Danika is a siren bent on his destruction as he displays hypnotic behavior that leads him into increasingly dangerous situations. It's revealed that Danika is a normal human and Vicky is the real Siren, but Jake’s behavior ruins his relationship with Danika while Trixie defeats Vicky by herself.
- The title is a play on "Simon Says".