"Speedy, We Hardly Knew Ye" is the second segment of the sixth episode of Recess.
Speedy, the class hamster, dies, so the kids decide to have a funeral, which doesn't go as planned.
The episode begins with T.J. and friends playing with their beloved class pet hamster, Speedy. Vince gives him some distilled water from the science lab and and Gus fills his food bowl with his favorite garlic croutons. When school lets out for the weekend, the kids say goodbye to Speedy and T.J. states while the other classes have their pets, they're proud to have Speedy. Monday morning as class starts, Mikey goes over to see Speedy, but when Speedy doesn't wake up and hasn't eaten his croutons they realize that Speedy has passed away over the weekend, much to Mikey's dismay.
Later on the playground, while Spinelli wants to play kickball, T.J. and the others are heartbroken about their hamster friend. It is then T.J. decides to plan a funeral for their departed friend.
During the funeral, as King Bob directs the proceeding, a few other people show up to pay their respects, including the high school football team, the bus drivers and the Mayor. As Speedy is placed in his grave, Spinelli jumps in stating that she loved Speedy the whole time. As King Bob's bodyguards pull her out, Spinelli accidentally causes Speedy's corpse to fall out of the shoebox he was placed in. Suddenly Spinelli discovers a spot under Speedy's chin that she never noticed before? It is their that Gretchen discovers that the hamster in the picture that the mayor had brought is a female, when the Speedy she always knew was a male, confirming that they're not the same hamster. Everyone is confused, when Miss Grotke confesses that when the school was first built, every fourth grade class has had a hamster named Speedy, but the teachers weren't sure how the kids would react when said hamster died, so they would secretly replace it with a new one before any of them find out.
Realizing this, everyone decides to leave, but T.J. stops them and states that even though this hamster wasn't there's didn't change the fact of how they all felt about them and what they taught them and they decide to honor all the hamsters they knew as King Bob declares the grave "The Tomb of the Unknown Speedy". The episode ends, with a montage of all the Speedy's throughout the school's history.
- T.J. Detweiler
- Vince LaSalle
- Ashley Spinelli
- Gretchen Grundler
- Mikey Blumberg
- Gus Griswald
- Miss Grotke
- King Bob
- Hustler Kid
- The Ashleys
- The Diggers