A visit to a dude ranch turns into a stampede/cattle drive through town and the cows become acrobats at a water park. Dr. Doofenshmirtz starts an aluminum siding business.
A cowboy in a western movie is singing On the Trail, accompanied at by harmonizing cows. As the movie ends, it is shown that Phineas has been watching it on a portable video player while he and Ferb are riding on a very tame horse ride called "Ride ‘Em Cowboy!" at Clem’s Carnival. Mom thinks this is cute and takes a picture. Phineas says "She means well." As Mom drives off, Candace gets after them to not "pull any of your weird stunts." Phineas responds with a southern cowboy drawl and says, "Don’t fret none, school mark." Satisfied, Candace calls a friend (probably Stacy) on her cell phone to recount her encounter with "Little Miss Pants."
The boys leave the ride and see Isabella standing nearby. Isabella has just earned her Milking badge, which only required that she "squeeze and pull, and squeeze and pull, and squeeze and pull, and squeeze and pull." When Isabella asks, "Whatcha doin’?", Phineas responds in a cowboy accent with a list of things he'd rather being doing than just riding horses. Amongst the list is "fording a stream", even though he doesn’t know that that means. Isabella is quite taken by his account. Meanwhile, Perry dives into a water trough and begins swimming back to his lair. Along the way, he has to swim through a minefield while a shark with a laser beam strapped to its head fires the laser at him.
Perry makes it to his lair, and after donning his hat to begin his duties as Agent P, activates the view screen. Major Monogram appears mid-sentence, recounting to someone off screen (probably Carl) Candace’s earlier conversation. Major Monogram realizes that Perry’s there and cuts the conversation short. Agent P gives him a look. Embarrassed, Major Monogram says, "Oops. I forgot to turn off the laser sharks again, didn’t I? My bad."
Major Monogram then begins the briefing. Dr. Doofenshmirtz has three overdue library books, a corner on the market for aluminum siding and a water fortress on Lake Winemahkateekihaha. After the traditional admonishment to find out what the doctor is up to and to put a stop to it, Agent P drives a jet ski equipped with a GPS which guides him to the fortress.
Agent P arrives at the fortress and drives it up a ramp and inside, meeting the doctor with a woman in black standing next to him. After capturing him with rope, Dr. Doofenshmirtz introduces Agent P to his daughter, Vanessa. Vanessa isn’t impressed, so she puts on a set of ear buds and listens to some techno music on her music player. Slightly embarrassed, Dr. Doofenshmirtz dismisses this by saying, "She’s new."
He then launches into the details of his latest plan: he’s put helmets on termites so that he can control them with his own Termite-Controlling Helmet. To demonstrate, he opens a jar and directs them to shape a block of wood into a bust of himself. After they eat all the wood in the Tri-State Area, everyone would have to buy aluminum siding from him. Dr. Doofenshmirtz wraps it up and uses a remote to lower Agent P towards molten lava. "It’s time for platypus flambé." He and Vanessa leave.
Back at the ranch, Candace is on still on the phone, now recounting an encounter with someone that was "all up in my face." The termites fly through and eat the fence she was lying on out from under her. She runs but the termites follow her, pausing momentarily to eat a wooden outhouse restroom. Candace seeks refuge in a barn. The termites eat that, which causes the cows to stampede. Phineas, Ferb and Isabella see that the cows are heading towards town and the cows have already caused long back-ups on the freeways.
The termites eat the fences from the "Ride ‘Em Cowboy!" ride, allowing the boys to commandeer the horses. Just as Isabella thinks she's about to be left behind, she spots a pony decked out with a purple bow, purple saddle and pink hearts for decoration.
Candace has been running from the stampede. Stacy calls her and after she informs Stacy about the stampede, distracting her from looking where she is going. Candace falls in a mud puddle. The cows and the horses that the kids are riding leap over her. She calls after them as the stampede heads into town.
After a trip on the subway, the stampede reaches the Googolplex Mall. A group of people are waiting for a store to open, and once it does, they create a stampede of their own in their hurry to get at the sale items. The cows follow them, running amuck through the store. One cow stops to admire itself in a mirror after snagging a dress and bra. The stampede continues into the main area of the mall, starting with a trip in the elevator, followed by going up and down the escalators. Phineas and Isabella sing In the Mall. Everyone, including the cows and the kids’ horses, takes a break to eat in the mall cafeteria, but afterward, the stampede resumes.
Now the stampede heads outside to one of the streets in downtown Danville. Candace is heading their way on her bike and passes a traffic sign that says "Stampede downtown. No honking." She loses control going down a hill and crashes into Haney’s Cow Emporium. Candace goes inside to find something to help her stop the stampede. The proprietor’s first offering is a "scary wolf puppet" that is less than scary, even with its bell. His sales pitch doesn't convince Candace that it will be effective. The Silent Cow Whistle seems to be a different matter, so Candace buys that, forgetting the first word in its name.
She runs outside to use the whistle, which doesn’t make any sound. The cows stop, but only because the stoplight in front of them has turned red. Unaware of the red light, Candace is convinced it works. As soon as the light turns green, Candace has to run again. She tries to use the whistle and complains loudly that the cow whistle doesn’t work. The proprietor quickly puts a "closed for stampede" sign in his window. Candace instantly runs into an alley. Candace spots Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella bringing up the rear. She retrieves her bike, then phones her mom to bust them. The cows are heading right past where her mom is getting her hair done, but when Linda Flynn-Fletcher looks out the window, all she sees is the truck for Swampy’s Farm Fresh Milk that has cows in the picture.
Meanwhile, back at the water fortress, Agent P has been lowered ever so slowly towards the lava. He is almost in the lava and is doing quite well in not being affected by the heat when Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Vanessa check in on him via closed-circuit television. The doctor wants to know if he has any last noises since Perry doesn’t speak, and so Agent P does do his platypus call. As Dr. Doofenshmirtz performs his evil laugh, Agent P swings over to a control panel and then moves the ropes holding him close enough to the lava for it to burn through.
Now free, Agent P reaches over with an evil smile towards a purple button labeled "Caution!" when Dr. Doofenshmirtz lets it slip that a different bee-colored button is the one that Agent P should not press. Agent P presses the other button, which activates the self-destruct. Vanessa can’t believe that the self-destruct button was put in the death chamber and leaves, complaining that this was "the worst ‘Bring Your Daughter to Work Day’ ever." Dr. Doofenshmirtz says "Tell your mother you had fun, though."
She also takes the last escape pod. Dr. Doofenshmirtz isn’t worried because he has a jet pack. Agent P sees the jet pack sitting on the control panel near him. Doofenshmirtz can’t believe he did that, adding he might as well have given Perry an escape hatch. Overhead, the escape hatch opens and Agent P flies out. "Well, guess I’m running" is all Dr. Doofenshmirtz has to say. Agent P hears his screams and circles back to rescue the doctor. Unfortunately, the little wooden head that the termites had carved earlier was not saved.
Meanwhile, the boys have got the cows under control and are now calmly guiding them along the freeway. Phineas and Isabella have a good conversation in cowboy accent on their herd. A semi’s horn from an impatient truck driver instantly causes them to stampede again, but they are directed to the off-ramp back towards Clem’s Carnival. The cows break through the guard rail and head down the hill towards a cliff. They stop in time, but the lead cow accidentally gets pushed off the edge. Phineas asks Ferb to calm them down with his guitar, but one of the guitar strings snaps and that sets the cows off again.
They leap off the cliff and land on the water slide at the Cliffside Water Park. Phineas, Isabella, Ferb and their horses follow the cows. The cows really enjoy the slide and start performing some pretty acrobatic moves. At the bottom of the slide, the cows make a fountain out of themselves. Phineas has to remind them that they are supposed to be on a cattle drive. He notes that they are fording a stream, which he wanted to do earlier. Candace rode her bike to the same ledge that the cows had stopped on, but now it gives way beneath her. She bounces off the shack at the top of the water slide and over onto several ledges containing cactus, snakes and scorpions.
Nearby, Agent P and Dr. Doofenshmirtz are flying back towards Clem’s Carnival. The jet pack runs out of fuel. Agent P opens his parachute and Dr. Doofenshmirtz grabs a hold of him. Dr. Doofenshmirtz lands on top of the carnival’s roller coaster. Agent P catches an updraft and begins floating right behind Doofenshmirtz. This allows him to put the Termite-Controlling Helmet into reverse, drawing the termites towards the doctor. Since Dr. Doofenshmirtz cannot reach the switch, he is practically defeated.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz begins running away along the roller coaster’s track. The termites eat part of the wooden tracks, causing some of them to fall to the ground. At this moment, Phineas, Ferb and Isabella arrive in search of a corral to put the cows into. A section of track from the roller coaster comes loose and lands on top of the wooden tracks, creating a makeshift corral.
The termites finally catch up with Dr. Doofenshmirtz and fly away with him as he yells, "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" Agent P removes his hat and walks back over to the boys. Mom pulls up in her car and asks if they had fun. The answer is a resounding yes in "cowpoke-ese." Candace then walks up, covered in bruises and growling all the way. Mom wants to know if she's alright, but Candace doesn't want to talk about it. "Alright, get in the car, snappy pants," is Mom’s response. She then wonders what that was all about, and Ferb replies, "I reckon herding cattle ain’t for city folk."
- Vincent Martella as Phineas
- Ashley Tisdale as Candcae
- Thomas Sangster as Ferb
- Caroline Rhea as Mom
- Alyson Stoner as Isabella
- Dan Povenmire as Dr. Doofenshmirtz
- Jeff "Swampy" Marsh as Major Monogram
- Dee Bradley Baker as Perry
- Olivia Olson as Vanessa
- Kelly Hu as Stacy
- The close-up of the traffic signal shows the lights in reverse order: green on top and red at the bottom. When the signal is shown from a distance, the green light is in its traditional place at the bottom.
- The sign on the freeway advertising Clem's Carnival misspells it as "carnaval".
- A horse's natural instinct is to step over people that have fallen on the ground. Cows, not so much.
- Doofenshmirtz's lair is first misspelled as "Doofenshmirtz Evil Lncorporated". In the next scene, it is "Doofenshmirtz EviL Incorporated".
- On the Doofenshmirtz Aluminum Siding Company, Inc. logo, "Doofenshmirtz" is misspelled as "Doofenmirtz."
- When the cows are making the pyramid in the bottom of the Cliffside Water Park the water is flowing down the slide but when a close-up picture of Phineas is showed the water isn't there.
- Candace's bike turns red before she fall's down the cliff.
- Before Candace's bike rolled down the hill, her tires are white. But in the next shot, her tires are black.
- The "Closed for stampede" sign can be seen hanging in the window of Haney's Cow Emporium immediately before the store employee hangs it on the window.
- When Ferb's Guitar String breaks on the cliff, his horse is dark brown like Phineas', not light brown like it should be. When they fall down, his horse (and guitar string) are normal again.
- When Phineas says "We need a couple of horses" Isabella's eyes are black.
- While Perry is swimming back to his lair through a minefield, he is attacked by a shark with a laser beam strapped to its head. This is a reference to Austin Powers, where Dr. Evil once said he wanted sharks with laser beams, and later received them as a gift from his son.
- The title parodies the western movie The Magnificent Seven.
- The musical western themes throughout the episode mostly likely allude to selections from the "Grand Canyon Suite" by composer Ferde Grofé.
- This is Vanessa Doofenshmirtz's first appearance.
- A sign in the Danville subway says "No Buena Vista". "No Buena Vista" literally means "no good view," although it might be an abbreviation for "North Buena Vista." Buena Vista was also the name of the distribution arm of The Walt Disney Company until 2007, when it was renamed Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.
- The population of Danville is 241,000. It's shown in a big sign while entering the city.
- The dialogue that Candace says on her cell phone and that Major Monogram repeats is taken verbatim from "Rollercoaster".
- In the moment before Candace calls Stacy an orchestral remixed version of Gitchee Gitchee Goo can be heard in the background.
- This marks the first time we see Perry use his chatter in Dr. Doofenshmirtz's presence. He knows about the chatter because he can describe it.
- When Mom thinks the boys riding the horses is cute, Phineas breaks the fourth wall by looking at the audience and says "She means well".
- When Candace is showing her mom Phineas and Ferb riding a herd, the truck that is seen has the brand 'Swampy' printed on it, probably after Jeff 'Swampy' Marsh.
- After the cows storm out of the cafeteria, the sign behind them says that the special is beef.
- First episode in which none of the events take place at the Flynn-Fletcher house.
- When the termite eats the outhouse, a farmer can be seen sitting in the outhouse.
- The pony that Isabella rides resembles the pony seen in the wallet photos Dr. Doofenshmirtz shows to Perry; said photo was of one of Vanessa's birthday parties and had Doofenshmirtz riding on the pony.
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