- “WHO THE HECK IS WHOMPY WHOMPERSON!?”
- ―Principal Prickley
"The Story of Whomps" is the first segment of the twenty-second episode of Recess.
As recess starts, when T.J. and Lawson prepare to play baseball, T.J. tells the 5th grader that he "whomps". Lawson takes this as an insult, but T.J. and the gang explain that "whomps" means nothing and explain that back in 3rd grade, when T.J. and Vince were forced to face the wall for saying "boogerhead", they came up with "whomps", believing that if they said it they wouldn't get in trouble. By the end of the story, the school bell rings, causing T.J. to says "This whomps", at which Ms. Finster takes him to Principal Prickly's office. Gretchen is doubtful they can punish T.J. for a made-up word. However, Prickly thinks its a new swear word and constantly cuts off T.J. when he tries explaining it's just gibberish; Finster is behind this, having assured Prickly it's bad language. T.J. gets detention LV 5 when he says "whomps" in protest.
Angered that his word had been twisted into something ugly, T.J. decides to get even by spreading "whomps" throughout the school's vernacular, resulting in Prickly's office becoming stuffed with students caught saying it. After sending all the offenders out, Prickly decides to use his hotline to the Board of Education, getting Special Agent Mr. White to come to Third Street.
T.J. is summoned again to Prickly's office, where he finally get to explain to White that his word means nothing. Mr. White appears to understand but as soon as T.J. is out the door, White tells Prickly that "whomps" would be as bad as when kids invented "dang" to replace a certain bad word and spread like wildfire and the only way to stop it is by making an example of T.J. (Clearly this guy takes his job TOO seriously.) Outside, T.J. proudly announces to the student body that no one will ever get in trouble to for saying "whomps", but suddenly a helicopter appears, ordering him to freeze as a pair of B.O.E. agents seize him.
Later, as a crowd of students protest in favour of T.J. outside the County B.O.E. courthouse, White subjects T.J. to a kangaroo court and pleads with Superintendent Skinner to expel T.J. with extreme prejudice so no child would ever invent a new swear word. Before Skinner could pass judgment, Ms. Grotke brings in her old professor, Reginald Dice Weathersby Ph.D, a slangologist, to speak on T.J.'s behalf. Unfortunately, Dr. Dice talks like a hipster, confusing everyone before getting into a wrestling match with White. Their fight stops when T.J. whistles and asks to defend himself. He explains he understands both the defense and prosecution's arguments, defends that he created his new word to stay out of trouble and declares that the whole trial "whomps". This gets White all worked up but Skinner is amused by "whomps", defining it as funny (because likely it's obviously harmless gibberish) and others in the courtroom find their own definitions, resulting T.J. being declared innocent. As everyone celebrate, Spinelli tells T.J. that this is a hollow victory, as he wanted to prove that "whomps" means nothing, but everyone has a meaning for it. As the episode ends, Prickly complains to Finster, "This whomps."
- In overview the majority of the episode was caused by Finster. Being as old as she is, she knows what swear words are; it's likely she either thought "whomps" was a new swear word or was abusing her authority to simply make T.J. miserable.