There's a Platypus Controlling Me
Source
"
There's a Platypus Controlling Me " is a rap song performed by
Dr. Doofenshmirtz and the goth teens at the junkyard party near the ending of "
Brain Drain ". Through most of the song, Doofenshmirtz is trying to notify his audience that it isn't him scratching the vinyl records his hands are glued to, but that it is actually
a platypus manipulating him to do so. However, most of them perceive this as a metaphor and jump into the music.
Lyrics (spoken)
Vanessa Doofenshmirtz :Heinz Doofenshmirtz :Vanessa: Dad, what are you doing?
(rapping)
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I'll be honest, I don't really understand.
But I fell down this hill now I got glue on my hands,
And I got records on my fingers.
Kids: Whaaaat?
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Records on my fingers,
I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop.
Kids: Don't stop.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I can't stop. I got a platypus controlling me.
Kids: WHAAAAT?
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I got a platypus controlling me.
Now let me sum it up.
It was a strange set of circumstances.
Kids: Strange set of circumstances?
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I fell down the hill, I got glue on my hands, now I got records on my fingers
And I just can't stop.
Kids: DON'T STOP. DON'T STOP.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I would if I was able
There's a platypus controlling me; he's underneath the table.
Kids: There's a platypus controlling him—WHAAAT?
Kid: Oh I get it, platypus is a metaphor for whatever is keeping you down.
Kids: Like corporations are a platypus.
The government's a platypus.
Your teacher is a platypus.
Weird Kid: My teacher is a panda.
Kids: Society's a platypus.
My parents are a platypus.
The media's a platypus.
It's all just propaganda!
Yeah we've all got a platypus controlling us!
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Just me!
Kids: We've all got a platypus controlling us!
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I'd stop if I was able.
Kids: We've all got a platypus controlling us!
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I'm not speaking metaphorically,
The platypus controlling me is underneath the table.
Wait! Oh wait, no, he's gone!
Heyyy! There's no platypus controlling me…
There's no platypus controlling me!
(Cheers)
Background information Continuity At Comic-Con 2012, moderator Damon Lindelof introduced Dee Bradley Baker as the man who voices "the platypus controlling us all."
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Episodes
Season One: "Rollercoaster Candace Loses Her Head The Fast and the Phineas Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror The Magnificent Few S'Winter Are You My Mummy? Flop Starz Raging Bully Lights, Candace, Action! Get That Bigfoot Outta My Face! Tree to Get Ready It's About Time! Jerk De Soleil Toy to the World One Good Scare Ought to Do It! A Hard Day's Knight I, Brobot Mom's Birthday Journey to the Center of Candace Run Away Runway I Scream, You Scream It's a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World The Ballad of Badbeard Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together Ready for the Bettys The Flying Fishmonger Phineas and Ferb Get Busted! Greece Lightning Leave the Busting to Us! Crack That Whip The Best Lazy Day Ever Boyfriend From 27,000 B.C. Voyage to the Bottom of Buford Put That Putter Away Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat? Traffic Cam Caper Bowl-R-Ama Drama The Monster of Phineas-n-Ferbenstein Oil on Candace Unfair Science Fair Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story) Out to Launch Got Game? Comet Kermillian Out of Toon Hail Doofania! Season Two: "The Lake Nose Monster Interview With a Platypus Tip of the Day Attack of the 50 Foot Sister Backyard Aquarium Day of the Living Gelatin Elementary My Dear Stacy Don't Even Blink Chez Platypus Perry Lays an Egg Gaming the System The Chronicles of Meap Thaddeus and Thor De Plane! De Plane! Let's Take a Quiz At the Car Wash Oh, There You Are, Perry Swiss Family Phineas Hide and Seek That Sinking Feeling The Baljeatles Vanessassary Roughness No More Bunny Business Spa Day Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown Bubble Boys Isabella and the Temple of Sap Cheer Up Candace Fireside Girl Jamboree The Bully Code Finding Mary McGuffin Picture This Nerdy Dancin' What Do It Do? Atlantis Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation! Just Passing Through Candace's Big Day I Was a Middle Aged Robot Suddenly Suzy Undercover Carl Hip Hip Parade Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers Ain't No Kiddie Ride Not Phineas and Ferb Phineas and Ferb-Busters! The Lizard Whisperer Robot Rodeo The Beak She's the Mayor The Lemonade Stand Phineas and Ferb Hawaiian Vacation Summer Belongs to You! Nerds of a Feather Wizard of Odd We Call it Maze Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Max Modem! The Secret of Success The Doof Side of the Moon Split Personality Brain Drain Rollercoaster: The Musical! Make Play Candace Gets Busted Season Three: "The Great Indoors Canderemy Run, Candace, Run Last Train to Bustville Phineas' Birthday Clip-O-Rama! The Belly of the Beast Moon Farm Ask a Foolish Question Misperceived Monotreme Candace Disconnected Magic Carpet Ride Bad Hair Day Meatloaf Surprise Phineas and Ferb Interrupted A Real Boy Mommy Can You Hear Me? Road Trip Tour de Ferb Skiddley Whiffers My Fair Goalie Bullseye! That's the Spirit The Curse of Candace Escape from Phineas Tower Lotsa Latkes Ferb Latin A Phineas and Ferb Family Christmas Tri-Stone Area Doof Dynasty Excaliferb Phineas and Ferb and the Temple of Juatchadoon Monster from the Id Gi-Ants The Remains of the Platypus Mom's in the House Perry the Actorpus Let's Bounce Bully Bromance Break Up Quietest Day Ever Doonkleberry Imperative Meapless in Seattle Delivery of Destiny Buford Confidential The Mom Attractor Cranius Maximus Agent Doof Minor Monogram What a Croc! Sleepwalk Surprise Sci-Fi Pie Fly Sipping with the Enemy Tri-State Treasure: Boot of Secrets Doofapus Norm Unleashed Where's Perry? Ferb TV When Worlds Collide What'd I Miss? Road to Danville This is Your Backstory Blackout! Season Four: "For Your Ice Only Happy New Year! Fly On the Wall Bully Bust My Sweet Ride Der Kinderlumper Sidetracked Primal Perry Mind Share Backyard Hodge Podge Bee Day Bee Story Great Balls of Water Where's Pinky? Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown Hosted by Kelly Osbourne Knot My Problem Just Desserts La Candace-Cabra Happy Birthday, Isabella Love at First Byte One Good Turn Mission Marvel Thanks But No Thanks Troy Story Druselsteinoween Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror Face Your Fear Cheers for Fears Steampunx Just Our Luck Return Policy Live and Let Drive Phineas and Ferb Save Summer Father's Day Imperfect Storm The Return of the Rogue Rabbit It's No Picnic The Klimpaloon Ultimatum Operation Crumb Cake Mandace Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars Lost in Danville The Inator Method Night of the Living Pharmacists Tales from the Resistance: Back to the 2nd Dimension Doof 101 Act Your Age Last Day of Summer O.W.C.A. Files
