"Yes, I find they have a special gift for the work.”
- ―Eddie Valiant and Judge Doom
In the film, the Toon Patrol are the law enforcers of Toontown, although they behave less like law enforcers and more like gangsters and crooks due to their behaviors. Judge Doom has hired them to arrest Roger Rabbit for the murder of Marvin Acme. Their vehicle is a real-life black 1937 Dodge Humpback panel truck which serves as a paddy wagon. The vehicle is fitted with the official City of Los Angeles "Toon Patrol" decals on the front doors.
Like all the other Toons in the movie, the Toon Patrol are invincible to physical body harm except the chemical blend called "The Dip".
In the case of the weasels, it is shown that prolonged laughter is also lethal to them; while Eddie Valiant jokes around in front of them during the climax of the film, all except their leader Smartass die from laughing at him; Smartass meets his demise after Valiant crotch-kicks him into a vat of The Dip. Whether or not the weasels knew that Doom was a Toon himself is never confirmed, but their relationship with him may hint that they had no knowledge of such.
Of all the weasels, Smartass is the smartest and most consistently serious and does his best to keep his mind on the job. Despite this, he has a sarcastic attitude and will also laugh at funny sights, though he has more control then the other weasels. Whilst the leader of the Toon Patrol and despite his intelligence, he has a poor vocabulary and commits a malapropism almost every time he speaks. He seems to have no regard for others and even his own colleagues receive little compassion from him, though they will also offer no consolation to him when he suffers in any fashion.Smartass has brown fur with sienna markings on his muzzle and his underbelly. He wears a light pink double-breasted zoot suit coat with a matching fedora and a white dress shirt. He has various accessories such as a gold chain in the left pocket, a bejeweled hot pink tie and spats on his bare feet. His weapon of choice is a .44 revolver, though in the bar scene he is shown attempting to attack Eddie Valiant with a switchblade.
Greasy is allegedly the second-in-command of the Toon Patrol. He is voiced by Charles Fleischer.
He has a thick Puerto Rican accent, though he curses in Spanish when he is caught in Jessica's booby trap and when rocketed into the air by Roger's entrance. Greasy seems to be the most aggressive of the weasels and is the most eager to fight. He is also a pervert, evident as he takes the opportunity to molest Jessica's cleavage when the weasels are tasked with frisking her.
Greasy has long greasy black hair slicked back and dark brown fur with tan markings. Greasy often appears overweight and sports a small potbelly, though this is inconsistent with his appearances when he had a slim figure. He wears a green zoot suit styled trench coat, a white dress shirt with a partially obscured pink tie and a matching fedora that often obscures his eyes. He wears white spectator shoes with single black stripes and trousers hiked up to his chest, making him the only weasel to wear pants. He appropriately resembles a zoot suit gangster from the L.A. "Zoot Suit Riots" of the 1940s.His weapon of choice is a switchblade, though he also uses a .44 revolver.
Psycho is the most insane weasel in the Toon Patrol. He is voiced by Charles Fleischer.
Psycho is most insane of the weasels, hence his name. He gets excited by the concept of killing, as he is heard gleefully laughing when Judge Doom kills the Toon Shoe in the bucket of Dip. He is nearly drooling in anticipation as Smartass attempts to drive into Benny the Cab, and he takes it upon himself to shoot the Dip at Roger and Jessica. On a few occasions, it is implied that he enjoys pretending his straitjacket is buckled by hugging himself tightly, namely when he exits the Toon Patrol's car in his first appearance and while laughing after Eddie stuffs a bar of soap into Smartass's mouth; though this might also imply that he is not entirely used to having his straitjacket unbuckled.Psycho has brown fur with frizzy hair, yellow swirls in his eyes and gangly yellow teeth. His only clothing is an unbuckled straitjacket to exemplify his insanity. His weapon of choice is a strait razor, which he is often carrying in his mouth or jabbing in someone's direction.
Wheezy is the gunman of the Toon Patrol. He is voiced by June Foray.
Wheezy has an unhealthy addiction to cigarettes and is often smoking several at once, causing his voice to become dry and raspy. He rarely speaks and his laughter always devolves into hacking and coughing. Much like the other weasels, he begins laughing uncontrollably at funny sights and will eventually die from the laughter, which occurs to most of the weasels except Smartass. He appears to be afraid of dying, as he is seen unsuccessfully trying to pull his soul back into his body, although when it breaks free, it does not appear regretful. He only has two lines in the film, both of which are barely noticeable. The first is "Let's go!" when Eddie and Roger escape with Benny. The second is "Move it." when he is about to tie up Roger and Jessica in the Acme Warehouse.Unlike his colleagues' collective brown furs, Wheezy has smoky-blue fur with lighter grey markings, pink bloodshot eyes, and yellow nicotine-stained fingers, which all tie in with his smoking addiction. He is never without an absurd amount of cigarettes, particularly possessing several in his mouth. He wears a white pork pie hat in which he carries an additional stash of cigarettes, a black vest, a loose tie, and a wrinkled shirt. His weapon of choice is presumed to be a tommy gun, though he is only seen using it once.
Stupid is the dumbest member of the Toon Patrol. He is voiced by Fred Newman.
As his name implies, he is so stupid that he is seen hitting himself over the head with his own weapon while laughing. He is also shown to be very childlike, as shown from his movements during his only line in the film when he excitedly informs Judge Doom that Toontown is on the other side of the wall in the Acme Factory, which he and Wheezy are drilling open. Despite his stupidity, he does at least try to stop Valiant in the bar and later, is put in charge of the Dip Machine's controls, showing a small bit of competence.Stupid is clearly overweight, while all the other weasels are fairly slim. He has a very childlike wardrobe, wearing a blue and gray striped T-shirt, a red beanie with a propeller and dingy blue sneakers with untied laces. His weapon of choice is a baseball bat with a nail through it, though he only ever uses it on himself.
During production, there were going to be seven weasels rather than five, much like the Seven Dwarfs. The other two were named "Slimy" and "Flasher." Other names considered were Crazy, Sleazy, Scummy, Itchy, and Twitchy. However, only Slimy and Flasher made it to the sketch stage and no voice work for them was ever completed. Slimy was a black weasel with 1950s greaser attire who puked slime (and, just by looking at his concept art, could also be playing in it) and carried a blackjack as a weapon. Flasher, as his name implies, wore a trenchcoat but did not carry a visual weapon. The conceptual art of these characters is included in the 15th anniversary DVD edition of Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
Slimy, Flasher, and a third weasel known as Ragtag appear in the comic "The Resurrection of Doom". Since Slimy and Flasher appear somewhat differently in this comic, it is possible that they were different weasels that happen to have the same name.Also, there is an unnamed weasel in Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin. He is a dark brown weasel who wears a gray baggy hat, a white button-up shirt, and dark cadet-blue baggy suspenders. He was voiced by Will Ryan. His origins are unknown, though some names have been suggested by fans, notably "Sleazy". Sleazy was also a name mentioned on the movie's commentary.
The Toon Patrol first appear when they drive their paddy wagon at the Acme Factory, the scene of Marvin Acme's murder. As they exit their vehicle, Smart Ass, the leader, assures their boss Judge Doom of their task's success, stating that their many "deformants" (informants) around the city will help them find the murder suspect Roger Rabbit. During the demonstration of the Dip on an innocent Toon shoe, the weasels all laugh with delight in spite of the horrific properties of Dip and its effects on toons.
Using their contacts, the weasels soon track Roger Rabbit to Eddie Valiant's office. Smart Ass bangs on Valiant’s door and calls out to him repeatedly, demanding entry, but when they receive no response, Wheezy uses his tommy gun to destroy the lock on the door so they can enter. Finding the room apparently empty, Greasy believes that Roger and Valiant have already left, though Smart Ass is (correctly) convinced that Roger is still in the office, hiding. Smart Ass soon finds Valiant washing his clothes in the sink and questions him on Roger’s whereabouts (unaware that Roger is indeed hiding in the sink underwater due to being handcuffed to Eddie), while the other weasels are tasked with searching the office. When the interrogation slowly turns hostile, Valiant shoves a bar of soap in Smart Ass’s mouth and the other weasels laugh at him. Smartass hushes them and abuses them to warn them against laughter (spitting the soap at Wheezy and sending him soaring into the window blinds, whacking Greasy and Psycho over their heads with a plunger before finally sealing Stupid’s mouth shut with it), before they eventually leave to search elsewhere.
The weasels later track Roger at a bar and summon Doom. When they all arrive, the weasels look on as Doom offers a $500 reward to the bar patrons for any information on Roger’s whereabouts (which fails when the patrons make a joke about it) before turning his attention to a record player still running. After examining and sniffing the record, he concludes that Roger is indeed present in the bar and throws the record to the weasels for confiscation; however the record is lodged into Stupid’s mouth, prompting the other weasels (including Smart Ass) to laugh at him, much to Doom’s anger. Striking Smart Ass, Doom orders them to stop laughing, reminding them of their “idiot hyena cousins” who had died previously from prolonged laughter. Smart Ass then offers to have his team “dis-resemble”(disassemble) the area, but Doom declines and instead resorts to tapping his cane to the tune of “Shave and a Haircut” to temp Roger out of hiding. Roger, who is hiding in the bar’s hidden room with Valiant, cannot resist finishing the tune and bursts into the room, leading to his capture by Doom. Smart Ass and Greasy hold Valiant at knifepoint, while Doom prepares to execute Roger with his Dip. Fortunately, Roger is saved when Valiant tricks him into drinking a shot of Bourbon (which Roger has a strong reaction to), leading to a brief fight between Valiant and the weasels, which Valiant wins before fleeing the bar with Roger. The weasels then pursue Roger, Valiant, and their newest toon companion, Benny the Cab (who Roger and Valiant free from the weasels’ paddy wagon while trying to hijack it) on a wild car chase through the city, but the trio is finally able to elude them.
The Toon Patrol later appears in Toontown in pursuit of Valiant, Benny, and Roger’s voluptuous Toon human wife, Jessica Rabbit, who reveals that Doom had murdered Acme and, more recently, R.K. Maroon, the owner of Maroon Cartoon Studios. Doom and the weasels soon capture Valiant and Jessica and take them to the Acme factory, leaving the “unconscious” Benny behind.
At the factory, Smart Ass, Greasy and Psycho are tasked by Doom to search Valiant and Jessica for Marvin Acme’s will—which grants ownership of Toontown to the Toons--but only find Roger's love letter to Jessica. During this time, Greasy eagerly volunteers for the task of searching Jessica and immediately begins fondling her cleavage, before being caught in her "Booby Trap" and panicking with a Bear Trap hanging from his hand. While the weasels laugh as he hops around and wails in pain, Doom hits him into a pile of boxes with his cane. Meanwhile, Stupid and Wheezy drill open a hole in the wall leading to Toontown, which Stupid informs Doom of. After Doom unveils his Dip Machine, which he plans to use to obliterate Toontown to build a freeway in its place, Psycho, Stupid and Wheezy are later seen prepping the vehicle. Smart Ass holds Valiant and Jessica at bay with a revolver as Doom continues to explain his plan to them. Roger suddenly emerges from a manhole in the middle of the factory, intent on saving his wife and Valiant, but Greasy drops a hanging pile of bricks on him after being launched onto it from the manhole cover he was standing on from where Roger emerged. Wheezy, Stupid and Greasy are later seen tying Roger and Jessica together to a large hanging hook operated by Doom, before they return to operating the Dip Machine; Psycho eagerly points the vehicle’s mounted spray cannon at the hanging Toon couple. When Doom accidentally slips on some false eyeballs spilled from a fallen box, the weasels all laugh at him. Agitated, Doom proclaims that they eventually “laugh themselves to death”, indirectly giving Valiant an idea. Doom then orders Smart Ass to kill Valiant once Roger and Jessica were dipped before taking his leave, an order Smart Ass gladly complies with.
Valiant then unexpectedly activates a nearby calliope—getting the attention of the surprised weasels as well as Roger and Jessica—and begins performing a comedic musical number, making the weasels literally die laughing in this order: Stupid laughs and falls off a ladder he was standing on, before suddenly dying and holding a lily over his body as his spirit ascends into the sky. Shortly afterwards, as Wheezy laughs, his spirit also begins leaving his body, in spite of his desperate attempts to pull it back inside. Eventually, his spirit ascends and his body falls along with the ladder he was standing on. Smart Ass also continues laughing until he is suddenly distracted by a flaw in the lyrics. After correcting it, Valiant kicks Smart Ass in the crotch and launches him into the Dip Machine’s large vat, instantly dissolving and killing him. This causes the remaining weasels to laugh even harder, so much that Greasy, who is driving the vehicle, dies next and falls out, letting go of the brake and leaving the vehicle to roll forward uncontrollably. Psycho, still laughing, starts dancing around and accidentally hits a lever to fire the dip cannon, only barely missing Roger and Jessica. He eventually loses his balance and hangs from another switch that turns the cannon away from the hostages, before falling into the spinning brush in front of the vehicle. As an angel, he begins ascending before pushing the switch to turn the cannon back towards them, before bidding farewell and giggling to himself.
- The Toon Patrol was intended to be a crude parody of the Seven Dwarfs from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, hence why there were initially seven, to begin with. The deleted character Voltaire was also supposed to be based on the vultures from the same movie.
- The Toon Patrol filled in for many of the things Voltaire would've done if he remained in the film.
- In early drafts for the film, the weasels would have been unnamed and all have similar personalities, and there would have been at least ten of them. All the weasels would die laughing (compared to Smartass being killed by the Dip). Additionally, instead of Judge Doom killing R.K. Maroon himself, one of the weasels would have done so while disguised as Roger Rabbit.
- Despite the weasels each having official names as shown in the end credits, none of them are addressed by one another or any of the other characters in the film by name, the latter simply referring to them as "the weasels"; Roger is the only character to call them the "Toon Patrol", though only once when he is hand-cuffed to Eddie. Also, if any one of the weasels is heard speaking off-screen, closed captioning also does not use the name of the weasel in question, instead simply calling him "Weasel".
- Greasy makes a cameo in the Bonkers series in the episode "Of Mice and Menace". He appears in a couple of mugshots on a computer, implying that the weasels are criminals in the series.
- Smartass's name is censored in some media: in Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin, he is called "Wise Guy", whilst the NES game simply calls him "Smart Guy".
- Smartass is one of the few Disney characters to commit malapropisms, the other two being Tummi Gummi from Gummi Bears and Harry from Stanley.