"Weight for Me" is the first segment of the first episode of The Shnookums and Meat Funny Cartoon Show.


The cat and dog try to get back in shape when the husband threatens to replace them with more physically fit pets.

An obese Schnookums and Meat lazily lounge around when their owner, The Husband, is scanning through a "Power Pet Magazine", admiring cats and dogs with muscular physiques working out and posing ala models and that are in perfect peak physical condition. In disappointment and disapproval, he points out that a poor diet, too much sleep and laziness have caused Schnookums and Meat to become overweight, lazy and in his words, just downright "pathetic" as Schnookums and Meat stuff themselves and play with their fat bellies in amusement. When The Wife tries to reassure him that it's just a reflection of their love for their pets, he dismisses her and says that he will highly consider replacing them with more fit pets from the magazine unless they can prove themselves by getting in shape for a pet sporting event called the "Decapathon". As the couple heads to the store to purchase "concrete for the bunker" they're building, a worried Schnookums says that they have let themselves go terribly and Meat mentions in fear that unless they do something, they'll be history. The two animals set out to get in shape; however, this is an issue alone as they are already nearly immoblie. Schnookums decides to start out with push ups, but since their bellies are so huge, they get absolutely nowhere. Schnookums suggests that since that most of their fat is in their bellies, they do sit ups, but they're so fat they can't do a single one and struggle until sofa they use to counterbalance falls on top of, and crushes them. Later, they try weightlifting, and Schnookums arrogantly tells Meat to add more weight (to which he can't handle, and his head is crushed by the barbell) as Meat enthusiastically cheers him on.

However, a commercial comes on TV featuring a man named "Horst Crinkle" and his assistant, Debbie, who are advertisting his "Loungerizer", an exercise machine resembling a recliner chair with robotic arms that move and massage one's muscles, a folding seat that simulates push ups, robotic appendages with muscle stimulators attached and more, to which he specfically designed for people who want to get in shape with doing as little work and putting in as little effort as possble, a concept that he cannot emphasize enough and seems to swear by. Claiming that the device does all the work for you via a remote control, his assistant demonstrates by using the device herself, even showing her "before and after" photos (revealing it changed her from a manatee into a human woman). Schnookums and Meat are instantly impressed and persuaded by the ad and immediately send off for two of them. The elated and excited pets receive the machines and Schnookums suggests they set them to high, to get in shape quickly as possible, but the "chairs" go into overdrive, violently maiming the two, even "coming to life" before blasting them through the walls of their home. A now wiser and precautious Schnookums knowingly suggests they set them "medium" this time. A montage begins show the machines "exercising" Schnookums and Meat all afternoon, exercising their arms, legs, bellies, even "exercising" their eyeballs, tongues, noses and more in exaggerated ways.

After using the Loungerizers to the point that the machines pass out from exhaustion, Schnookums and Meat are now massive, hulking, bodybuilders (complete with hairy chests, speedos and shoes) to their amazement and pleasure. They pose in the mirror, which has to stretch from them being so muscular to the point it shatters. Schnookums remembers that it's time for them to drink their protein drinks that they began drinking as a diet in addition to working out, but they begin to notice they are getting stiff from being so muscular. They hobble to the kitchen, breaking the doorway as Schnookums strains in agonizing struggle to even pick up his shake; much less, drink it and drops the crushed from his titanic grip can. When Meat offers to be a gentleman and pick it up for his feline pal, he struggles to bend over to pick it up, as does Schnookums. Schnookums fears they'll "starve to death from being so physically fit" as Meat laments he can barely move and in worried panic asks Schnookums what to do. Schnookums thinks that if they go into the family sauna built into their home, the steam will shrink them just enough to move again, however, he warns his canine companion that it may be dangerous to stay in too long.

Waddling inside and barely able to fit through the door, Schnookums in an annoyed tone tells Meat to shut the door, which Meat, not knowing his own newfound strength yet, slams so hard that nearby items fly across the room, including a mop, which wedges itself against the door handle, jamming the door shut and locking them inside. Schnookums immediately notices his mobility coming back, and Meat comments how happy their owners will be to see them in the best shape of their lives. It seems their worries are over until Schnookums asks Meat to let them out, but he finds the door won't budge. Angry and in disbelief, Schnookums tries the door as well, but to no use. The duo keep forcing the door open, banging and bashing it, and ironically, despite their superman strength, have no luck, even destroying the entire walls, ceilings and basically everything around them to smithereens with their enormous strength except for the door. When the Husband and Wife return home, they still expect to find Schnookums and Meat fat and lazy as ever, but hear the two banging on the door for their lives. Approaching their destoyed sauna, the Husband effortlessly moves the mop and opens the door to find out what could be trapped inside; a now shrunken, exhausted and dehydrated worm-like Schnookums and Meat emerge from the sauna to the Wife's horror, however, the Husband reassures his wife that he knows how to handle the situation.

With no knowledge of their pets ever purchasing the Loungerizers or getting in shape, the Husband assumed that Schnookums and Meat were still their overweight selves, and force feeds them meat inculding sausages, hams and whole turkeys using funnels and a toilet plunger, saying that soon the cat and dog will be "back to normal", making all of Schnookums and Meat's hard work and efforts in vain. As Meat blissfully enjoys this pleasurable treatment, Schnookums, in frustration tells him to "Shut up!" as his stomach, now fatter than ever, rolls over on top of him and crushes him.

v - e - d
Shnookums and Meat logo
The Shnookums and Meat Funny Cartoon ShowShnookums and Meat theme
Shnookums and Meat • Toulouse • Pith PossumDoris Deer • Obediah the Wonder Raccoon • Commissioner Stress • Lieutenant Tension • Dr. Paul Bunion • Easter Bunny Impostor • Shirley Pimple • Tex Tinstar • Smelly Deputy Chafe • Percy Lacedaisy • Floyd the Insane Rattlesnake • Wrongo • Ian and Clem • Krusty Rustknuckle
"Weight for Me / Phantom Mask of the Dark Black Darkness of Black / A Fistful of Foodstamps" • "Ow, Hey! / Darkness on the Edge of Black / For a Few Foodstamps More" • "Bugging Out! / Night of Darkness / The Good, the Bad, and the Wiggly" • "Poodle Panic / The Darkness, it is Dark! / Low Pants Drifter" • "Cabin Fever / Return of the Night of Blacker Darkness / Stale Rider" • "Pain in the Brain / Haunt of the Night of Blacker Darkness / Loathsome Dove" • "Step-Ladder to Heaven / Bride of Darkness / Magnificent Eleven" • "Kung Fu Kitty / Son of the Cursed Black of Darkness / Saddlesores, Sagebrush and Seaweed" • "I.Q. You Too! / The Light of Darkness / Slap-Happy Trails" • "Something's Fishy / Return of the Dark Mask of Phantom Blackness / My Spine Hurts" • "Night of the Living Shnookums / Dark of the Darker Darkness / The Vinyl Frontier" • "Jingle Bells, Something Smells / Dark Quest for Darkness / Hey, Careful! That's My Cerebellum!" • "What a Turkey! / Light or Dark Meat? / There Are Spiders All Over Me!"
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